Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Just shared via Slack:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Trending via Reddit:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

154 Funny anything quotes

Funny anything quotes 😂 are like the sprinkles on life’s cupcake 🎂, adding a dash of humor to the everyday mundane. Whether you’re laughing at the absurdity of socks always going missing 🧦 or life’s eternal quest to avoid stepping on LEGO bricks, these quotes promise a chuckle or two. Ready to giggle your way through the chaos? Dive in and let hilarity ensue! 😄

New funny anything quotes 👇

I would do anything for a job, except write a cover letter.

7 days ago

anything, application, cover, cover letter, employment, except, humor, i, job, job application, letter, procrastination, work, writing
Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

1 week ago

anything, care, daily, daily struggle, day, dialogue, every, frustration, humor, i, idiot, inner, inner dialogue, me, own, self-awareness, self-care, self-deprecating, self-deprecating humor, single, struggle, take, why
Doc, if I can vibecode anything and everyone else can vibecode anything, then what’s my competitive advantage?

1 week ago

advantage, anything, coding, competition, competitive, competitive advantage, Doc, doctor, else, everyone, humor, i, question, technology, vibecode
Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

1 week ago

anything, dethroned, font, humor, never, new, real, roman, society, times, Times New Roman, typeface, typography
How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

1 week ago

anything, bed, couple, couples, done, girlfriend, humor, i, laziness, leave, live, living, living together, procrastination, relationship, together
You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

1 week ago

anonymity, anything, cube, hear, humor, inventor, never, only, puzzle, Rubik
The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

1 week ago

anything, attraction, feminine, feminine urge, flirtation, humor, relationship, tease, turn, urge
I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

1 week ago

ago, anything, before, ChatGPT, humor, i, interaction, internet, life, online, online interaction, Reddit, someone, trust, using
If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

1 week ago

anything, bottle, drinking, ever, fact, humor, just, know, me, minutes, personal, socializing, wanted, wine
I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

1 week ago

anything, fat, humor, old, question, short, something, thinking, word

For even more funny anything quotes, hit next 👇

All funny anything quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

68 shares on X this month:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

60 shares on Discord this month:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

74 shares on Slack this month:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Making waves on WeChat:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Breaking via TikTok:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Shared recently on Discord:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Trending via YouTube:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Seen just now on Threads:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Trending via Threads:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Spotted on Reddit:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

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