154 Funny anything quotes

• Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

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  3 hours ago

  anything, communication, hear, hearing, humor, i, language, listening, me, mispronunciation, next, think

• The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

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  7 hours ago

  anything, budget, diet, eating, finance, humor, joke, lack, lifestyle, money, poverty

• If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

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  9 hours ago

  anything, communication, criticism, humor, media, negativity, nice, online, sarcasm, say, sign, social, social media, Twitter

• Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

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  10 hours ago

  anyone, anything, debt, dollars, except, humor, me, money, payment, psychology, session, therapist

• “Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

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  10 hours ago

  anything, assistance, complaint, customer, customer service, else, frustration, humor, i, just, me, sarcasm, service, thanks, thing, today

• Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

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  10 hours ago

  almost, anything, awkward, awkward moment, barista, coffee, else, humor, i, moment, order, said, stability

• Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

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  11 hours ago

  anyone, anything, better, communication, feelings, feels, interaction, introversion, mood, quiet, silence, social, social interaction, solitude, sometimes, talk, talking

• I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

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  13 hours ago

  anyone, anything, communication, emoji, expression, humor, interaction, introvert, pretty, say, social, social interaction, sure, technology

• Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

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  14 hours ago

  accomplishment, anything, babe, communication, conversation, everything, humor, life, motivation, ok, partner, relationship, sarcasm

• Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

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  14 hours ago

  anything, commitment, drunk, equivalent, exaggeration, giving, happen, humor, manifesto, me, politician, promise, sarcasm, unreliability

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