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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,806

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Going viral on Messenger:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Trending via TikTok:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Live now on Pinterest:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Making waves on YouTube:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Going viral on X:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Home » Funny Anything Quotes

145 Funny anything quotes

Funny anything quotes 😂 are like the sprinkles on life’s cupcake 🎂, adding a dash of humor to the everyday mundane. Whether you’re laughing at the absurdity of socks always going missing 🧦 or life’s eternal quest to avoid stepping on LEGO bricks, these quotes promise a chuckle or two. Ready to giggle your way through the chaos? Dive in and let hilarity ensue! 😄

New funny anything quotes 👇

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

0

1 week ago

anything, fat, humor, old, question, short, something, thinking, word
God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

0

1 week ago

annoyance, anything, God, humor, interaction, show, social, social interaction, someone, video, wants, worse
Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

0

2 weeks ago

anything, bright, Christmas, done, fog, humor, improve, nose, red, red nose, reindeer, Rudolph, Santa, visibility
Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

0

3 weeks ago

anything, excited, excitement, humor, laziness, procrastination, sarcasm, super, today
I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

0

4 weeks ago

8, absolutely, anything, bed, bedtime, before, except, exhaustion, going, hours, humor, i, irony, joke, need, procrastination, sleep, tiredness, wake
I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

0

4 weeks ago

absolutely, anything, communication, except, excuse, friends, friendship, honesty, humor, i, just, know, loyalty, message, need, procrastination, reply, texting
This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

0

1 month ago

anything, argue, argument, community, debate, discussion, humor, literally, online, online community, people, site
Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

0

1 month ago

anything, everything, exaggeration, humor, interest, interested, sarcasm
The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

0

1 month ago

anything, being, cleverness, easier, final, hack, humor, intelligence, just, know, level, life, life hack, pretending, smart
I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

0

1 month ago

anything, away, bad, bad behavior, behavior, child, child behavior, got, hilarious, humor, i, know, parenting, right, shut, swear, swear word, swearing, swearing toddler, toddler, word

For even more funny anything quotes, hit next 👇

All funny anything quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Slack this month:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

87 shares on Threads this month:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

27 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,685

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Making waves on TikTok:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Going viral on Messenger:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Breaking via Discord:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Just shared via Slack:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

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