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10,000+ funny quotes

59 Funny big quotes

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

3 months ago

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

3 months ago

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

3 months ago

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

3 months ago

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

3 months ago

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

3 months ago

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam and they’re just using it to make TVs.

3 months ago

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

3 months ago

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

3 months ago

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

3 months ago

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

3 months ago

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

3 months ago

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

3 months ago

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

3 months ago

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

3 months ago

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

3 months ago

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

3 months ago

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

3 months ago

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

3 months ago

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

3 months ago