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70 Funny big quotes

Trending Funny Big Quotes 🔥

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.
Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.
Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.
I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.
People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

More funny big quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Commentary:
Ah, the clever marketing tactics of the cabbage conglomerate! 🥬🤣 Who knew Brussels sprouts were just little cabbages in disguise, trying to make a name for themselves in the vegetable world? Watch out for those sneaky marketing schemes next time you're strolling through the produce aisle! 😉🌱
5 months ago
Share →: Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Commentary:
"Who knew that bathrooms were the mastermind behind the whole gender debate? 🚽💰 Don't be fooled, folks, it's all a ploy to push more porcelain thrones our way! 😂 #BathroomConspiracy"
5 months ago
Share →: My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive big bag of money in the woods 🌳💰 The ultimate treasure hunt for aspiring financial wizards! Who needs a glass ceiling when you can have a leafy canopy overhead? Here's to forging your own path to fiscal fortune, one forest escapade at a time! 🌲🔍 #MoneyTrees #ForestRiches"
5 months ago
Share →: Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic Reddit relationship saga – where even a simple love squabble turns into a full-blown melodrama! 🎹💔 It's like a soap opera meets a circus act, complete with dramatic plot twists and a keyboard of emotions. Who knew marriage could be a musical rollercoaster? 🎭🎶😂"
5 months ago
Share →: If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old mystery of silence! 🤔 If a man stays quiet, he's seen as thoughtful and reflective. But if a woman stays quiet, well, brace yourself, because the storm is brewing! ⚡️💁‍♀️ Watch out for that silent thunder, folks! ⛈️😄"
5 months ago
Share →: The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eyes shining bright like glittering windows to the soul 💫… but oh my! That robust mustache proclaiming 'welcome to the front garden' 🌳… and that big pothole of a mouth crying out for some city council intervention 🚧! A charming mix of character traits indeed! 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Commentary:
Oh, the mighty comma – the unsung hero of punctuation, master of timing ⏱️, the pause button of written language! Bravo, dear comma, for your subtle yet powerful influence on the flow of words! 😉👏 #CommaMagic
5 months ago
Share →: Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Commentary:
"Life's a stage, and for serial killers and comedians alike, it's all about that elusive Netflix special 🎬 Or you might just end up on those 'shitty podcasts' discussing your quirky hobbies like collecting stamps or, uh, body parts 🤷‍♂️ Either way, make sure to choose your performances wisely! 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Commentary:
"If I was a priest, I'd need a confession marathon booth to fully utilize my running skills! 🏃‍♂️🕍 Who says penance can't be a cardio workout? 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Commentary:
When this player has a good hand, you can practically see the dollar signs glowing in their eyes! 💰😂 Bet you can always tell when they've got something good up their sleeve – just look for the shimmer of those big money signs! 👀💲#PokerFaceFail