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16 Funny coworkers quotes

  • If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

    Commentary:
    “Remember, in the office jungle, sometimes a touch of eccentricity is the key to maintaining your territory. 🐒 Just don’t blame us if you end up talking to yourself… as the prophecy foretold. 🔮😄”

  • Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.
  • Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

    Commentary:
    “Office friendships: the ultimate ‘blink and you miss it’ scenario! 🤷‍♂️ Who knew that #TGIF would also stand for ‘Thank Goodness I’m Free’? 😂 Remember, out of sight, out of mind…until the next office reunion awkwardly brings everyone back together! 🤣 #WorkplaceDynamics”

  • Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs office drama when you can be the untouchable hotshot turning heads and filing reports like a boss 💁‍♂️🔥 Remember, it’s all fun and games until someone spills coffee on the copier! ☕️😂 #workplacepowerplay”

  • Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like they couldn’t handle your ‘pharmily’ charm 😂 Maybe they were just jealous of your pun game 💊👨‍🔬 Better luck with your next job where they appreciate your dose of humor!”

  • I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

    Commentary:
    Looks like the hiring process at your workplace is all about talent and not just about having a great personality 🌟. No room for “personality hires” here! 🚫😂 #SkillsOverSmiles

  • Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the bittersweet transition from avoiding nosy Aunt Mildred to dodging chatty Steve from accounting 🙈 At least you have the office coffee machine to commiserate with ☕️ Here’s to another week of pretending to laugh at Dave’s unfunny jokes! 😆 #BackToReality”

  • Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like your mom’s got your colleagues beat in the job security department! 😂👦👧 Who knew family ties could be so enduring at work? Time to start navigating the office jungle gym without climbing over one another! 🐒🌿 #MomKnowsBest”

  • Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

    Commentary:
    Ah, group projects in school – the necessary evil that prepares us for the chaos of the corporate world! 🤦‍♂️📚 Who knew that dodging group members in a school project would be the perfect training for dodging responsibility in the office? 😂 Remember, teamwork makes the dream work…unless you’re stuck with a team of dreamers who forgot to set their alarms! ⏰ #WorkLife #TeamworkDreamwork

  • “AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

    Commentary:
    Well, if AI starts showing up drunk on Fridays and hitting on your coworkers, at least we can finally say that machines are starting to embrace the ‘work hard, play hard’ motto 🍻🤖🔥 Just imagine the awkward HR meetings with a robot giving excuses like, “I swear, I thought they were into my efficient algorithms!” 😂 #AIinHR

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