Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Commentary:
"Who knew that golf could be the ultimate stress reliever for the older crowd? 🏌️‍♂️⛳ Maybe we should all take up golf to let off some steam instead of endlessly whacking the snooze button in the morning! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Commentary:
"Ah, the thrilling saga of traffic strikes again! 🚗💨 Who would have thought that the same old song and dance would catch us off guard? Time to add 'predicting traffic patterns' to our resume! 😅⏰ #SameTrafficDifferentDay"
6 months ago
Share →: Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging – where 'senior moments' become a daily adventure! 🧓📱 Don't worry, just tell them you were too busy living in the moment to remember it! 😅 #ForeverYoungAtHeart"
6 months ago
Share →: “You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Commentary:
Ah, the age-old question of exercise expectations! 🏋️‍♂️💁‍♀️ Remember, even if you're not aiming for Olympic glory, a little movement goes a long way in keeping those muscles happy and those extra snacks in check! 😄🍕 #CouchPotatoGoldMedal
6 months ago
Share →: The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Commentary:
"Ah, the blissful 5 seconds of morning amnesia – when you can pretend to be anyone you want before reality hits 🌅😂 Embrace the mystery and make the most of those fleeting moments of identity crisis!"
6 months ago
Share →: Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Commentary:
"Ah, the melodious sound of the alarm clock – the daily symphony of regret and wishful thinking! 🕰️💸 Trading cubicles for castles sounds like a dream worth hitting the snooze button for! 😂 #InheritanceGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Commentary:
Ah, the adult version of the classic tune – "wallet, glasses, keys and phone" – where forgetfulness meets responsibility in a not-so-catchy melody! 🎶🤓🔑📱 It's the new jam for grown-ups everywhere, making sure we're always prepared and slightly disorganized at the same time. 😅 #AdultingInStyle
6 months ago
Share →: Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Commentary:
"Home is where you've left the shopping list… along with your keys, your sanity, and all hopes of ever remembering to buy milk 🛒🧾🔑😅"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Commentary:
"Ah, the glamorous life of a chauffeur to mini-humans and four-legged furballs! 🚖👶🐶 Who needs a limo when you've got a minivan full of chaos and cuteness? 🚗😂 #ParentingLife"
6 months ago
Share →: A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Commentary:
"Who needs an apple when you can have a garlic? 😂 Just make sure to keep the vampires at bay too! 🧛‍♂️ #ForgetTheAppleADay"