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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Going viral on Pinterest:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Seen just now on Twitch:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Just landed via Threads:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Just landed via Messenger:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Just shared via Telegram:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Just shared via WeChat:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

48 Funny dance quotes

More funny dance quotes 👇

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

1 week ago

amusing, animal, animal comparison, chasing, comparison, dance, dance move, dog, humor, i, move, people, quirky, say, self-deprecating, tail, wild, wild dog
The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

1 week ago

activity, dance, fun, fun activity, humor, marriage, reason, relationship, trend, wedding
I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

1 week ago

bathroom, brother, childhood, dance, family, humor, i, sister, waiting
Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

1 week ago

awkward, awkward situation, dance, faucet, humor, malfunction, motion, motion sensor, robo-dancer, sensor, situation, technology, water
Dance like China isn’t watching.

1 week ago

China, dance, expression, freedom, humor, irony, watching
I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

1 week ago

dance, expression, farewell, fun, good, good riddance, humor, i, put, riddance
Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

1 week ago

activity, dance, fun, fun activity, humor, learning, less, Macarena, nothing, paid, regret, time, wasted, wasted time
Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

1 week ago

assertiveness, confidence, contact, dance, dominance, eye, eye contact, humor, twerking
To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

2 weeks ago

dance, food, fun, Himalayan, humor, parody, salt, sea, sea salt, song, tune
Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

2 weeks ago

back, dance, funny moment, humor, laid, laid-back, mirror, moment, morning, morning routine, routine, twerk, woke, woke up

For even more funny dance quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Discord this month:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

42 shares on X this month:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

19 shares on Discord this month:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

72 shares on Slack this month:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

55 shares on Discord this month:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Going viral on Facebook:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Spotted on Twitch:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Trending via TikTok:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Just shared via Facebook:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Trending via Twitch:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Going viral on YouTube:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Activity Log ✨

48 Funny dance quotes

More funny dance quotes 👇

All funny dance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨