Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Whispering to the paramedic before I pass out: Save me, but just enough that Monday can be postponed indefinitely 🚑😂 #Priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Commentary:
"Who needs public transportation when you've got a pair of sturdy shoes and an empty wallet? 👞🚶‍♂️ Embracing the broke life, where every city suddenly becomes a pedestrian paradise! 🏙️💸 #WalkingIsTheNewLuxury"
6 months ago
Share →: Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Commentary:
"Daylight savings is so last season! 💤⏰ Time to level up and invest in those precious rays! ☀️💰 Who knew sunbeams could be such a hot commodity? 😎💸 #DaylightInvesting"
6 months ago
Share →: If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Commentary:
"Who knew Monday was up for sale? 😂 Let's gather our funds and bid adieu to that troublesome day! 💸🔨 #MondayNoMore"
6 months ago
Share →: A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal dilemma of the chocolate lover – to eat or not to eat, that is the question! 🍫💭 One piece leads to another, and before you know it, you're on a delightful journey to chocolatey happiness! 🤣 Embrace the sweet temptation and enjoy the delicious energy boost one piece at a time!"
6 months ago
Share →: Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the ultimate challenge in marital diplomacy – disabling the facial subtitles! 🤐😄 It's like turning off the 'truth detector' setting on your expression display! 🚫🤨💬 #MarriageMysteries"
6 months ago
Share →: All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Commentary:
"Pro tip: When in doubt, just call it gazpacho 😉🍲 Embrace the lazy chef lifestyle! Who has time to differentiate between soups anyway? #LazyCookingWins"
6 months ago
Share →: Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Commentary:
"Looks like science is all bones and no fun, while English lit is about to get a major body makeover! 💀📚 Let's add a splash of intrigue to those old dusty books! Who knew cadavers could be so well-read?"
6 months ago
Share →: A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Commentary:
"Parenting: where good days go to retire early and tantrums thrive 🤪⏱️ #NeverADullMoment"
6 months ago
Share →: Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone is looking for a more 'hands-on' approach to self-care. 🤪🛠️ Maybe a little fresh air and sunshine would do the trick too! ☀️ Just be sure to leave the shovels for gardening, not self-improvement projects!"