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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,928

Funny Quotes Topics

14,744

Funny Quotes Images

11,928

24 seconds ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Just shared via Telegram:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Just landed via Messenger:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Making waves on WeChat:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Breaking via Discord:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Seen just now on YouTube:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Home » Funny Event Quotes

59 Funny event quotes

Funny event quotes 😂 are the secret sauce to turning any gathering into a laughter fest! 🎉 Whether it’s a wedding, birthday bash, or office party, these gems of humor can spark joy and create unforgettable memories. From hilarious one-liners to witty observations, they’re perfect for breaking the ice and getting everyone in the mood to have a good time. So, let your events shine brighter with a sprinkle of humor and watch the magic happen! ✨

New funny event quotes 👇

6 hours ago
Share →: Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Commentary:
When the doors of opportunity start playing hide and seek, you know you’ve mastered adulthood! 🚪🙈😂
18 hours ago
Share →: What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Commentary:
POMO: Pleasure Of Missing Out and seeing those crazy updates while you're chillin'. 😎🍿
1 day ago
Share →: Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Commentary:
That risky pre-event haircut deserves its own invite to the party 🎉✂️😅
1 day ago
Share →: Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Commentary:
Well, that’s one way to test the aerodynamics! 🚗💨👽✨
3 days ago
Share →: In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Commentary:
Life jackets accepting contactless payments now? Hope they have a good rewards program! 😂💳✈️
7 days ago
Share →: I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Commentary:
When you know you're the life of the party but also the head of the bedtime committee 😂🛏️🎉
2 weeks ago
Share →: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Commentary:
And here I thought "hot dog" was just a nickname! 🌭🧀🐶
2 weeks ago
Share →: The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Commentary:
Finally an event I don't have to make excuses for missing! 🎉🙌
2 weeks ago
Share →: We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Commentary:
"Ahoy, fellow 'billionaires'! 🚢💸 Just call me Captain Broke-Beard! 😂🧜‍♂️"
1 month ago
Share →: In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Commentary:
"Better start with a crash course in self-defense via YouTube! 🥋🤣📚"

For even more funny event quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny event quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,928

Funny Quotes Topics

14,744

Funny Quotes Images

11,928

24 seconds ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Shared recently on X:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Just landed via Slack:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Going viral on Telegram:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Making waves on X:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Going viral on Reddit:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

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