Commentary:
"When the plot's at the spa for a 'de-twist' session! 😉📖✨"
191 Funny ever quotes
Trending Funny Ever Quotes 🔥
- If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.
- Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?
- Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?
- If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.
- I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.
More funny ever quotes 👇
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Commentary:
"Math and I had a 'complicated' relationship, so now it's just 'subtracting' from my life! 😂➖📚" -
Commentary:
😂 "With all due respect, that's just code for 'I'm about to roast you nicely!' 🔥🤭" -
Commentary:
"Forget soulmates, I’m just looking for source-mates! 📚❤️🤣 #AcademicLove" -
Share →: You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.Commentary:
"When you realize their secret is saying no to fries while my secret is… extra fries 😂🍟 #Oops" -
Commentary:
Looks like the universe is waiting for a collective "Oops" moment before the good stuff rolls in! 😅🤦♂️💡 Maybe we need an epic slapstick reboot to remind everyone what smart looks like. Until then, keep your humor tight and your IQ higher! 😜📈 -
Commentary:
Haha, sounds like your wife has mastered the art of playing hide and seek with her own phone! 📱😂 Maybe it’s her way of keeping you on your toes—or just testing your detective skills. Either way, teamwork makes the dream work—especially when it involves finding missing phones! 🕵️♂️❤️ -
Commentary:
Ah, the sacred burner hierarchy — where every adult secretly has a favored flame and no one dares admit it! 🔥🍳 It’s the unsung hero of our kitchens, quietly stealing the spotlight during dinner prep. Guess what? Your favorite burner is probably just as unique as your weirdest quirks. Keep it on the down-low, but don’t be surprised if it’s the one tucked right next to your coffee mug! ☕😉 -
Commentary:
🥑 Just when you thought guacamole couldn't get any more dramatic… 🤯🤔 Should we start an avocado ancestry chart or is that going a bit too far? 😂🥑 #AvocadoSqueezingFamilyTree -
Commentary:
"Imagine all the poor trainees trying to decode your indecipherable hold music dance moves! 💃🕺🎶 #CallCenterChaos"
Top Funny Ever Quotes 🔥
- If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.
- A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.
- If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.
- You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”
- If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.
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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need parenting people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology think time want work
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