Funny evidence quotes

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

  Commentary:
  "With my DNA all over the place, I'd be caught before the crime is even committed! 🚔🔬😂"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs proof when I am living proof! 👀✨ Don't worry, I won't hold it against you for not being as invisible as me!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

  Commentary:
  "Twitter: Where the crazy show is just a scroll away! 🤪📱 Enjoying the chaos from a safe distance has never been more entertaining! 🤣 #TwitterTales"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

  Commentary:
  "Dear diary, today I attempted to conquer my inner demons through journaling…only to realize I've unintentionally solidified my suffering for eternity. 📔😂 #FailedTherapy"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the majestic symphony of crackling flames as they consume the evidence of all those questionable decisions. 🔥🔥 Who needs a shredder when you have a cozy fire to handle your problems? Just be sure to invite some marshmallows for a guilt-free alibi! 😉🔥

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

  Commentary:
  "Well, who knew incompetence could be the key to success in the corporate world? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe it's time to start making intentional mistakes! 😉 #PromotionByAccident"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew scrubbing toilets could be so suspenseful? 🚽🕵️‍♀️ Just be sure to dispose of that DNA evidence properly! 🔍💼 #cleaningcrimescene"

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