82 Funny friend quotes

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

  Commentary:
  "When your parents are experts in spotting fake friends but get bamboozled by Aunt Karen 🤦‍♂️😂 #FamilyDrama #PlotTwist" 🌟👀

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  2 months ago

  Share →: I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

  Commentary:
  "Probably writing another hit about how she needs to call her BFF… and yes, that’s you! 😂🎶 #SwiftSquad"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone's got a sweet tooth for more than just sugar 🍭🍬! Asking for a friend, huh? 😏 Maybe try the Candy Store for a variety of options! #SugarDaddyHunting 🕵️‍♀️💰"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like someone's friend might need more than just thoughts and prayers 🤣🔥 Maybe they should consult with a professional in 'excessive arousal management' 😏 #HornyButHealthy"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your best friend is adulting while you're mastering the art of popcorn consumption! 🍿🏠 Just remember, you're building a solid foundation of snacking skills for the future! 😉

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, slow and steady wins the race in the game of love. Who knows, being friends first might just lead you to a treasure trove of potential hotties! 😉🔥 #FriendshipGoals #DatingTips"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

  Commentary:
  "True friends don't judge each other, they save their best critiques for the rest of the world! 👯‍♂️👀 #SquadGoals #FriendshipGoals"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the delicate dance of friendship – where honesty meets diplomacy! 🤔🤷‍♂️ Your good friend knows which shade of truth to serve, like a skilled bartender mixing just the right cocktail for your soul. 🍹👭 Cheers to those who know when to add a splash of honesty without drowning you in it! 🌊😄"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the ultimate prank from beyond the grave! Nothing says 'rest in peace' quite like a posthumous text blast. Just imagine all the confusion and amusement that would ensue as friends and family receive heartfelt messages from the great beyond. The deceased might even become known as the ultimate party host, orchestrating one final gathering long after they've departed. It's a brilliant mix of sentiment and humor that's sure to leave everyone scratching their heads in wonder and appreciation.

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Occupation: the ugly friend!

  Commentary:
  "Occupation: the ugly friend – Always there for you when you need it, no matter how unglamorous or underappreciated. It's the friend you can count on to show up uninvited and stick around for the long haul. Just like a true friend, it might not be the most exciting or glamorous aspect of your life, but it's always there, loyal and reliable, ready to support you through thick and thin. Who knew your job could be so relatable

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