41 Funny full quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

  Commentary:
  Looks like Santa's not the only one making a list and checking it twice this Christmas! 🌕🎄🍷 Time to watch out for those festive shenanigans under the magical glow of the full moon! 🌝🎅 Cheers to a merry and memorable holiday season! 🎉🥂

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

  Commentary:
  Well, well, well, looks like Leatherface might need a few more chainsaws to patch up those plot holes! 🤣 As for the victims, maybe they're in the after-life trying to find a way to give directions to the lost tourists in the Texas backwoods! 🔪👻 #HorrorMovieMysteries

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a gym when you can burn calories just from hearing about someone else's jam-packed schedule? 💪⏰🤯"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

  Commentary:
  Having kids is a surefire way to turn your cozy home into a labyrinth of lost items! 🤪🔍 It's like living in a real-life game of "Hide and Seek" where the only thing hiding is your sanity! 🏠🧸 #ParentingPuzzle

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

  Commentary:
  "I can totally relate to God too – we both have our struggles when it comes to perfecting our creations! 😂💫 #CreatorProblems"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

  Commentary:
  "Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd. 🥂💡 Always looking at things with a spreadsheet mindset – cheers to starting the year off right!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

  Commentary:
  🎉🙏 "Good news, folks! Looks like divine intervention was at play because the priest who listened to all my sins is on the mend! Maybe my confessions weren't as bad as I thought after all…😅"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

  Commentary:
  Well, talk about a combination of coming back with a bang, or should we say a snip! 😂 Looks like even kidnappers have a sense of remorse and a finger-counting lesson to go along with it. 🤭 Who knew that leaving early could also come with a severance package? 🤞🏼💸 #UnexpectedTurnOfEvents

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

  Commentary:
  "Well, why settle for half when you can have the whole celestial shebang, right? 🌕🚀 Dream big and aim for the full moon experience – it's a once-in-a-lifetime trip that's always worth the round-trip ticket! 🌟😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic bedtime routine of overthinking, also known as the 'brain marathon' 🏃‍♂️💭 Who needs sleep when you can analyze every life decision you've ever made at 2 am? 😂 #InsomniaGoals"

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