Wordgag ツ

3 months ago
Share →: The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Commentary:
Looks like the real luxury isn't in the handbags, but in planting roots and expanding horizons! 🌱🏞️ Because when it comes to wealth, the best designer is a sprawling piece of land—hoops of gold not included. 💰🌍😉
4 months ago
Share →: A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Commentary:
"New Year's resolutions are like a stray hair – you pluck it out and it just comes back for more! 🙈 Here's to making resolutions that stick like glitter on a New Year's Eve outfit! 🎉✨"
5 months ago
Share →: One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between ambition and practicality. Who needs grandiose dreams when you can master the art of eating without making a mess? Baby steps towards greatness, my friend, baby steps."
6 months ago
Share →: My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the perfect balance of productivity and procrastination 🎉😅 Here's to a year of hopeful intentions and inevitable distractions! #NewYearSameMe"
6 months ago
Share →: Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Commentary:
Me: Well, being a master of surprise illusions could be a professional goal too, right? 🎩✨ Who wouldn't want to perform the disappearing act in style, even during job interviews? 😂🚌 #MagicGoals
6 months ago
Share →: My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Commentary:
"Seppuku? Ain't nobody got time for that! 🙅‍♂️ Let's aim for a life goal that doesn't involve sharp objects or ceremonial self-disembowelment, shall we? 😂 #GoalsWithoutGore"
6 months ago
Share →: My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Commentary:
🤣 "My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes… because who needs arm mobility anyway, right? 💪👚 #priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Commentary:
"Watch out world, this year I'm not only reaching for the stars, but also making sure the extraterrestrials have my back 👽🚀 Who knows, maybe they'll invite me for a ride on their spaceship! #TeamAlien"
6 months ago
Share →: My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive big bag of money in the woods 🌳💰 The ultimate treasure hunt for aspiring financial wizards! Who needs a glass ceiling when you can have a leafy canopy overhead? Here's to forging your own path to fiscal fortune, one forest escapade at a time! 🌲🔍 #MoneyTrees #ForestRiches"
6 months ago
Share →: My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Commentary:
"Ah, the noble pursuit of ensuring your future in politics remains at a safe distance! 🙅‍♂️ Who needs power and responsibility anyway when you can just focus on making questionable life choices instead? 🤪⚡️ #AntiCampaignPromise"