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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,952

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,952

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Just shared via X:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Breaking via YouTube:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Spotted on Instagram:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Spotted on X:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Making waves on Threads:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Breaking via Threads:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Home » Funny Greeting Quotes » Page 2

15 Funny greeting quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,952

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,952

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Going viral on Facebook:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Going viral on Messenger:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Just landed via YouTube:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Going viral on TikTok:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Seen just now on Discord:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Just landed via Reddit:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

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