Funny quotes grocery

40 Funny grocery quotes

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Feb 24, 2025

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Funny Quotes Feb 2, 2025

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025