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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1658 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,820

Funny Quotes Topics

14,646

Funny Quotes Images

11,820

4 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Breaking via Slack:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Going viral on Twitch:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Trending via Twitch:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Just landed via Messenger:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Home » Funny Grocery Quotes

63 Funny grocery quotes

Funny grocery quotes 🍎🥦 are the perfect way to add a sprinkle of humor to your shopping list! Imagine chuckling down the produce aisle 🍌 or giggling as you grab a carton of milk 🥛. These witty gems twist everyday grocery tasks into laugh-out-loud moments 😂. Whether you’re a savvy shopper or a checkout line daydreamer, these quotes will tickle your funny bone and make mundane errands a delightful adventure! 🛒✨

New funny grocery quotes 👇

14 minutes ago
Share →: Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Commentary:
Finding raspberries in the bread aisle? Checked. Becoming a grocery navigation expert? Loading… 🍞🧐🛒
1 day ago
Share →: Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Commentary:
Ah, the classic "grocery chic" textbook look! 🛒📚 Who needs Gucci when you've got Safeway? 😄
1 day ago
Share →: I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Commentary:
Melon musings can lead to blushing battles in aisle 7 🍈😳💬
1 day ago
Share →: Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Commentary:
Pasta doesn't need a window to its soul. I trust the noodles! 🥸🍝🔍
3 days ago
Share →: She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Commentary:
Finding her is like hitting the lottery—if the lottery were corralling carts! 🛒💃✨
3 days ago
Share →: People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Commentary:
Trying to navigate this grocery cart traffic jam like a pro! 🛒🚦😅
3 days ago
Share →: Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Commentary:
When the credit card company sees me at the checkout line, they should start playing the Rocky theme song! 🥦💳🥊
2 weeks ago
Share →: Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Commentary:
Trying my best to win the hide-and-seek championship while pushing a shopping cart! 🏃‍♂️🛒😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Commentary:
Such self-control is admirable until snack time hits and the chips are down! 🍟😆
2 weeks ago
Share →: Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Commentary:
"Decisions, decisions… Looks like my to-do list just got a plot twist! 📚🍕🧽 #Priorities"

For even more funny grocery quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny grocery quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1658 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,820

Funny Quotes Topics

14,646

Funny Quotes Images

11,820

4 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Live now on Telegram:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Reported on X:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Trending via WeChat:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Reported on TikTok:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Trending via Snapchat:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Just landed via Telegram:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

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