Funny quotes grocery

40 Funny grocery quotes

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

3 weeks ago

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

1 month ago

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

1 month ago

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

2 months ago

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

2 months ago

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

2 months ago

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

2 months ago

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

2 months ago

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

3 months ago

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

3 months ago

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

3 months ago

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

3 months ago

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

3 months ago

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

3 months ago

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

3 months ago

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

3 months ago

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

3 months ago

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

3 months ago

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

3 months ago

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

3 months ago

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

3 months ago

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

3 months ago

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

3 months ago

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

3 months ago

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

3 months ago

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

3 months ago

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

3 months ago

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

3 months ago

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

3 months ago

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

3 months ago