81 Funny grocery quotes

• Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

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  8 hours ago

  beautiful, beautiful woman, big, big car, buy, car, driving, gorgeous, grocery, house, humor, irony, kitchen, luxury, oh, overpriced, rich, rich woman, shopping, stock, woman

• At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

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  10 hours ago

  change, dealing, discussing, ever, frustration, grocery, grocery store, health, humor, i, layout, mental, mental health, next, session, shopping, store, therapy, trauma

• I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

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  15 hours ago

  advice, care, dog, funny advice, grocery, grocery store, hear, home, hour, humor, i, know, needs, pet, pet care, restaurant, stay, store

• In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

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  15 hours ago

  aisle, baking, baking aisle, baking ingredient, booing, buying, everyone, extract, grocery, grocery store, humor, imitation, imitation vanilla, ingredient, shopping, store, vanilla, vanilla extract

• At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

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  16 hours ago

  booing, clerk, grocery, grocery store, humor, item, louder, shopping, store

• Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

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  22 hours ago

  barcode, barcode scanner, behavior, cart, consumer, consumer behavior, grocery, grocery cart, money, much, put, scanner, shopping, should, spending, supermarket, technology, things

• It’s important to follow your significant other around the grocery store, not helping, and only hovering like the specter of death.

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  6 days ago

  around, death, follow, following, grocery, grocery store, helping, hovering, humor, important, only, relationship, shopping, significant, significant other, specter, specter of death, stalking, store

• They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

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  2 weeks ago

  else, grocery, grocery store, humor, invent, invention, just, me, personal, personal space, shopping, should, solitude, space, store

• Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

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  3 weeks ago

  enemy, frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, i, interaction, social, social interaction, store

• They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

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  3 weeks ago

  actually, awareness, before, build, cart, etiquette, food, grocery, grocery store, humor, know, least, people, push, sarcasm, shopper, shopping, shopping etiquette, should, spatial, spatial awareness, store

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