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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,551

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,551

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Making waves on Slack:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Just shared via Messenger:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Live now on TikTok:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Just landed via Twitch:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Just landed via Discord:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,551

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,551

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,613

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Live now on Slack:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Just landed via Twitch:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Just landed via Slack:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Trending via Twitch:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Breaking via Instagram:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

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