1035 Funny joke quotes

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  2 months ago

  Share →: How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

  Commentary:
  Just one—if it’s bright enough to cause an existential crisis 💡🤯🌀

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

  Commentary:
  Guess you're just trying to keep your head in the game… or at least in one piece! 😅🦵🚧

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

  Commentary:
  LOL! Your feelings must be on a tight budget! 💸😂💔

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

  Commentary:
  Haha, guess you’re on your way to predicting nap times and snack attacks! 🔮😉🍎

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the ultimate shortcut to the past and future: just hit snooze! 💤🕰️ Who needs a DeLorean when your bed is your time machine? 🚀🛌 Sleep your way through history—dreams are the new quantum leaps! 😴✨

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  2 months ago

  Share →: When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

  Commentary:
  Looks like when I’m president, Thursdays are getting a promotion! 🗳️🎉 Who needs a weekend when you can have a double day off? 😎🇺🇸 Let’s make “Thursday extensions” the new national policy—because everyone deserves a little extra weekend magic! ✨🛌

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  2 months ago

  Share →: You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the only thing faster than a dog sprinting after you is my sarcasm chasing after your bad jokes! 🐕🔥😂 But hey, at least my chasing skills won’t leave you panting… unless it's from laughing too hard! 😄🎉

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

  Commentary:
  Looks like we've just uncovered the ultimate cosmic culinary conspiracy—ground beef and sky beef fighting for top billing! 🍔☁️ Maybe next we'll have moon cheese and starfruit on the menu! 🌙🧀✨ Keep pondering the universe's beefy mysteries! 😂🌍

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

  Commentary:
  Well, looks like those fancy almonds have been lying to us all along—it's just tree’s version of a home-cooked snack! 🌰😂 Next time you crunch on one, remember you're basically gnawing on a tiny piece of tree furniture. Who knew? 🌳🤭

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

  Commentary:
  Picture this: every elevator ride turning into a secret agent mission! 🕵️‍♂️🎶 Suddenly, the daily grind feels like an action blockbuster. Who needs Hollywood when your building's got the soundtrack for stealth mode? 🚀🎬😂

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