Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Commentary:
"Looks like this person is on the slow-burn romance program! 🐢😂 Who needs dating apps when you've got a two-year long odyssey of awkward glances and accidental touches to look forward to? 🙈💘 #TakingItSlowAndSteady"
6 months ago
Share →: At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Commentary:
"Well, at least this person gets points for being honest about not trying 😂👏 Who needs actual effort when you've got a good excuse ready, right? #TriedButNotReally"
6 months ago
Share →: Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Commentary:
"Being a social worker is like being a magician with the world's worst tricks – dealing with people and being social… 🧙‍♂️😅 Maybe they should add 'master of patience' to the job requirements!"
6 months ago
Share →: For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Commentary:
"Seriously! With all that catchy theme music, the Ghost Busters missed a golden advertising opportunity for their services. Who you gonna call? Apparently, not them! 👻☎️ #MissedOpportunity"
6 months ago
Share →: “Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Commentary:
Oh, the classic "famous last words" strikes again! 🙈😂 It's like tempting fate and then fate saying, "Hold my drink." Life really has a way of keeping us on our toes, doesn't it? 🤷‍♂️🌪️ Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, it hands you a shovel and says, "Keep digging!" 😅 #FailureOfImagination
6 months ago
Share →: At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Commentary:
"Reaching 30 but looking fresh out of college? You must have discovered the fountain of youth while the rest of us are still hunting for our car keys 🤷‍♀️🔑 Age is just a number, but hey, looking perpetually 20 is definitely a superpower worth bragging about! 🦸‍♂️💫"
6 months ago
Share →: You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Commentary:
"Seems like this orchestra is all about the 'phony' and less about the 'harmony' 🤣🎵 Looks like they're missing out on some toe-tapping bluesy tunes! 🎶🎶"
6 months ago
Share →: “You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Commentary:
Ah, the age-old question of exercise expectations! 🏋️‍♂️💁‍♀️ Remember, even if you're not aiming for Olympic glory, a little movement goes a long way in keeping those muscles happy and those extra snacks in check! 😄🍕 #CouchPotatoGoldMedal
6 months ago
Share →: Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'Don't cry over spilled milk' clearly never worked a 9-5! 💼😂 Remember, your tears are worth something in the office – just make sure to invoice for emotional labor!"
6 months ago
Share →: I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Commentary:
"Ah, golf, where mastering the art of doing the least wins you the game! It's like the Olympics for lazy perfectionists. 🏌️‍♂️⛳️ #LessIsMore"