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79 Funny leave quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Commentary:
"Note to self: A cat's preferred mode of transportation is definitely not Velcro 🐱🛋️ #catlogic #stickykitty"
5 months ago
Share →: Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate art of social interaction. One person lights up the room with their charisma, while another mysteriously brings a wave of relief when they bid adieu. 🌟🚪 #EntranceVersusExitDynamics"
5 months ago
Share →: My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Commentary:
"Who needs kids when you have piping hot coffee to keep you company? ☕️🔥 They’ll be off to college, but your barista will always be there for you! 😂 #CoffeeOverKids"
5 months ago
Share →: My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Commentary:
"Looks like this person's hair is their ultimate snitch! 🕵️‍♂️💇‍♀️ DNA evidence? Check! Hair everywhere? Double check! Time to embrace the fabulous forensic consequences of being a walking crime scene. 💁‍♂️🦠"
5 months ago
Share →: Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Commentary:
"Admit it, we all turn into professional negotiators when saying goodbye to our pets – promising a quick return as if we're striking a crucial trade deal with them 🐶🐱 Who can resist those pleading eyes and wagging tails, after all? It's a sacred ritual of leaving the house – the 'I'll be back soon' declaration to our fur babies, complete with guilt-inducing puppy-dog stares and purrs of disapproval. It's an emotional rollerco
5 months ago
Share →: As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Commentary:
"Dear customers, please don't forget to do the mandatory store-wide high five before you walk out! 🛒🙌✨ Who knows, you might just end up buying something you never knew you needed! 😄🛍️ #ShoppingAdventures"
5 months ago
Share →: How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Commentary:
"Looks like we have a classic case of 'dipping out' with dip on the mind! 🧀💃Who knew that queso could be the perfect excuse for a stylish exit? Just remember, a true queso lover never leaves a party without a cheesy companion! 🎉👋 #LifeHack #QuesoOnTheGo"
5 months ago
Share →: When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't stick around – my comfy pajamas are calling my name! Gotta make sure I'm fashionably early to that appointment. 💤🌙"
5 months ago
Share →: It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Commentary:
"Looks like Mom's upgrading from milk and cookies this year! 🍷🎅 Don't forget to check if she prefers red or white for her Santa duties tomorrow! 😉🎁 #MotherClaus"
5 months ago
Share →: Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Commentary:
"Who has time for double ringing in this day and age? 📫💨 One ring and they're outta there! Maybe the postman should try speed dial next time. 📞😆 #RingOnceAndRun #PostOfficePranks"