Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,952

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Breaking via Facebook:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Going viral on Snapchat:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Going viral on Messenger:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Making waves on X:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Home » Funny Leave Quotes » Page 7

128 Funny leave quotes

More funny leave quotes 👇

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

0

2 months ago

allowed, date, early, early leave, fun, humor, leave, love, relationships, romance, should, work
Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

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2 months ago

awkward, awkward conversation, bring, conversation, departure, dinner, early, early departure, everyone, family, family gathering, gathering, holiday, hosting, humor, leave, politics, Thanksgiving
Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

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2 months ago

everything, existence, humor, irony, leave, life, nothing, perspective, strange, struggle, world
Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

0

2 months ago

alone, attention, everyone, humor, i, leave, looks, me, only, self-deprecation, thing, wants
The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

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2 months ago

dinner, family, humor, independence, leave, number, own, rule, rules, take, terms, Thanksgiving, vehicle
If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

0

2 months ago

ask, going, home, humor, invitation, leave, me, myself, situation, tell
When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

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2 months ago

causing, causing scene, comparison, double, double standard, Hulk, humor, i, incredible, leave, need, place, scene, shit, standard, wreck
A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

0

2 months ago

again, bring, convenience, frustration, house, humor, i, leave, need, next, print, printer, service, tech, thing, where, working, year
I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, falling, humor, irony, just, leave, love, maybe, me, problems, relationships, self-deprecation, too
Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

0

2 months ago

bit, conflict, early, guys, humor, i, irony, leave, me, mind, request, timing, today, war, workplace

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All funny leave quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Discord this month:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

95 shares on Slack this month:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

55 shares on Discord this month:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Just shared via Messenger:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Going viral on X:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Breaking via Slack:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Just landed via X:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Shared recently on X:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Seen just now on Discord:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Activity Log ✨

128 Funny leave quotes

More funny leave quotes 👇

All funny leave quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨