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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Broadcasted on X:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Just shared via YouTube:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Spotted on Discord:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Spotted on WeChat:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Just shared via Instagram:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

66 Funny lost quotes

More funny lost quotes 👇

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

2 months ago

anxiety, bedroom, fear, humor, lost, mind, never, pest, sight, spider, unexpected
When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

2 months ago

back, confusion, directions, giving, humor, i, irony, just, lost, love, me, miscommunication, miss, navigation, someone, tell, travel, wrong
Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

3 months ago

gutted, humor, irony, loss, lost, Thesaurus, vocabulary, wordplay
I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

3 months ago

diet, food, frustration, health, humor, loss, lost, patience, strict, week, weight, weight loss
Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

3 months ago

call, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, i, item, keys, lost, lost item, put, someone, where
I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

3 months ago

am, ban, books, borrow, calling, humor, i, irony, library, lost, need, public, reading
Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

3 months ago

activity, adventure, corn, corn maze, fun, fun activity, humor, just, kids, let, little, lost, maze, never, oh, parenting, right, stay
The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

3 months ago

cost, disappointment, endings, entertainment, finale, game, Game of Thrones, humor, lost, me, series, series finale, television, thrones
Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

3 months ago

addiction, coffee, day, eye, hearing, humor, left, lost, number, withdrawal
I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

3 months ago

1992, composure, humor, i, loss, lost, memory, time

For even more funny lost quotes, hit next 👇

All funny lost quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

48 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

98 shares on X this month:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

23 shares on Discord this month:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Making waves on TikTok:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Just shared via Twitch:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Trending via Telegram:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Freshly posted on Threads:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Shared recently on Slack:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Trending via WeChat:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Breaking via Instagram:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Activity Log ✨

66 Funny lost quotes

More funny lost quotes 👇

All funny lost quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨