22 Funny medical quotes

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

The most expensive clothing you'll ever wear is a hospital gown.

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025