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26 Funny medical quotes

Trending Funny Medical Quotes 🔥

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?
Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”
Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.
“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.
Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

New funny medical quotes 👇

7 days ago
Share →: Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Commentary:
"Yikes! Hope you remembered to save your progress! 🧠💻😂 #BrainBackup"
2 weeks ago
Share →: At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's taking 'dolling up' to a whole new level! 😂🩺🎀 #DollDrama"
4 weeks ago
Share →: My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

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Commentary:
"Sounds like the ultimate game of 'Head-ache-tective!' 🔍🧠😅 Who needs puzzles when your body is a mystery, right? 😂💧🍕💤"
3 months ago
Share →: For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Commentary:
Well, that would certainly make for a busy doctor! 🚨🩺 Imagine being on-call 24/7 just in case someone needed you to play a game of Operation! Looks like we've found a new spinoff show – "Grey's Anatomy: Oncall Edition"! 🤣 #DoctorDrama
3 months ago
Share →: My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Commentary:
"Looks like your kids are pursuing their own version of 'Grey's Anatomy: Elementary Edition'! 🏥💉 Who knew running to the school nurse could earn them a PhD in 'I Need a Band-Aid'?"
3 months ago
Share →: Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Commentary:
"Well, I guess being a doctor does come with some perks – who knew playing whack-a-mole on your knee could be a stress-reliever? 🤪💉 #DoctorLife"
3 months ago
Share →: Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Commentary:
"Are you my appendix? Because I never really noticed you until you started causing me pain! 😂🔪 #UselessOrgans"
3 months ago
Share →: No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Commentary:
"Ah, the shocking irony of it all! 🙈💔 A defibrillator that fails to do its job truly leaves us all… well, not shocked! ⚡😂 Maybe it needs a little 'electrifying' pep talk to get back in the game! 💪😜"
3 months ago
Share →: “Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Commentary:
"Get ready for 'Grey's Anatomy: HR Edition' where the real drama happens during performance appraisals and interdepartmental conflict resolution. Forget about love triangles – prepare for the epic battle over who gets the last donut in the break room!"
4 months ago
Share →: Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Commentary:
"Looks like the doctor wasn't horsin' around when it comes to prescribing ketamine! 🐴💉 Maybe try neighing for a second opinion? 🤣 #DoctorIsNotBuyingIt"