45 Funny medical quotes

• Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

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  1 week ago

  40s, accident, activity, cardiologist, great, health, hiking, humor, i, Jesus, medical, meet, met, new, nurse, outdoor, outdoor activity, paramedic, people, three, today

• It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

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  2 months ago

  art, artist, complicated, humor, medical, medical humor, separation, surgery

• My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

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  2 months ago

  brain, brain tumor, dehydration, due, favorite, game, guess, headache, health, health humor, humor, joke, lack, lack of sleep, malnutrition, medical, medical joke, migraine, poor, poor position, position, sleep, stress, tumor

• My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

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  2 months ago

  anxiety, constipation, diagnosis, doctor, humor, joke, just, me, medical, medical joke, wordplay, worry

• “You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

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  2 months ago

  auto, auto mechanic, car, car repair, cardiologist, doctor, fancy, funny question, humor, joke, mechanic, medical, name, profession, question, repair

• I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

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  2 months ago

  appointment, doctor, doctors, humor, i, just, medical, medical appointment, retire, retirement, said, travel, trip, unexpected, unexpected trip

• Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

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  2 months ago

  anyone, ChatGPT, else, heart, heart surgery, humor, issue, medical, medical humor, middle, online, online outage, outage, surgeon, surgery, technical, technical issue, technology, technology humor

• If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

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  2 months ago

  aging, car, cd, colonoscopy, health, humor, joke, life, life joke, medical, medical joke, original, protection, schedule, technology, time

• If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

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  2 months ago

  awkward, colonoscopy, embarrassment, humor, live, live stream, medical, medical humor, posts, self-deprecating, stream, think, unexpected, wait

• If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

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  2 months ago

  back, dark, dark humor, ever, humor, joke, life, life support, me, medical, medical humor, plug, resilience, sarcasm, support, unplug, works

All funny medical quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌