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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Spotted on Facebook:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Just landed via X:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Just shared via Slack:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Just shared via Facebook:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Going bananas on Slack:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Trending via Instagram:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Going viral on Threads:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Making waves on Telegram:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

47 Funny medical quotes

Funny medical quotes 🤣🩺 offer a delightful dose of humor for anyone in the healthcare field or those who simply enjoy a good laugh. These witty one-liners and clever quips blend medicine with mirth, providing a perfect prescription for stress relief 😂. Whether you’re a doctor, nurse, or just someone who appreciates the lighter side of life, these quotes are sure to tickle your funny bone and add a little laughter to your day! 😄💉

New funny medical quotes 👇

For even more funny medical quotes, hit next 👇

All funny medical quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You don’t read Dostoevsky. You survive him.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Long story short, I survived.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Social media may have been a mistake.

57 shares on Slack this month:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

33 shares on Discord this month:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,439

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Live now on LinkedIn:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Trending via Snapchat:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Spotted on Slack:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Trending via Instagram:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Just shared via Discord:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Spotted on Discord:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Broadcasted on Discord:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

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