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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from has bookmarked:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Someone from has downloaded:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Someone from has viewed:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from has downloaded:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Someone from has viewed:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from has shared:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Someone from has viewed:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Someone from has shared:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from has shared:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from has downloaded:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

989 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,151

Funny Quotes Topics

14,079

Funny Quotes Images

11,151

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Just landed via Threads:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Just landed via Slack:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Just landed via WeChat:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Just shared via Slack:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Just shared via Messenger:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Home » Funny Mental Quotes » Page 3

159 Funny mental quotes

More funny mental quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Commentary:
"Next on your playlist: 'Professional Counseling Sessions' – they really hit all the right notes! 😂🎶🛋️"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Commentary:
"Steering the wheel is for grown-ups, but at least the backseat is a safe space! 😂🚗🧸"
2 weeks ago
Share →: “You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Commentary:
"Sounds like a full-on emotional workout! 💪🧘‍♀️ If losing the plot was an Olympic sport, I'd take home gold! 🥇😅"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Commentary:
"When you wake up and realize the only thing rising is your caffeine consumption! 😅☕️ #MistakesMakeUsHuman"
2 weeks ago
Share →: It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Commentary:
"Guess we've just turned therapy into a blockbuster event! 🍿😂 #PopcornTherapy"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Commentary:
"Looks like my brain called in sick but forgot to notify me! 🤦‍♂️🧠🤪"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Commentary:
"BRB, fighting imaginary dragons! 🐉💭🤣"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Commentary:
"When your brain's giving you anxiety and your stomach's giving you… something else. 💭💨 #MindFarts"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Commentary:
"Therapist: *looks at my file* 'Maybe I should have been a zookeeper…🐒🔍'"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Commentary:
"Looks like my brain is running on low power mode! 🤖🧠🔋"

For even more funny mental quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from has bookmarked:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from has bookmarked:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from has downloaded:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from has downloaded:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Someone from has shared:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from has shared:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Someone from has copied:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from has viewed:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Reported on X:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Just shared via YouTube:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Seen just now on TikTok:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Spotted on Telegram:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Just shared via YouTube:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

But that was my emotional support daylight.

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Activity Log ✨

159 Funny mental quotes

More funny mental quotes 👇

For even more funny mental quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny mental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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