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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

58 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Just landed via Twitch:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Spotted on Messenger:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Shared recently on WeChat:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Home » Funny Metaphor Quotes

30 Funny metaphor quotes

Funny metaphor quotes are like the sprinkle of humor on the cupcake of life 🎂😂. They add a zing of wit that transforms ordinary moments into extraordinary chuckles 🌟. Whether you’re as busy as a bee 🐝 or feeling like a fish out of water 🐟, these quirky comparisons offer a fresh perspective, tickling your funny bone along the way. Dive into the playful world of silly similes and let the laughter ripple through your day! 🎉😄

New funny metaphor quotes 👇

6 days ago
Share →: Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Commentary:
All I’m saying is, if there’s an elephant in the room, might as well give it a front row seat 🐘🍿😆
7 days ago
Share →: A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Commentary:
Trying to adult like: 🎪😅 Who knew balancing on a hammock was also a life skill!
7 days ago
Share →: The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Commentary:
Jump right in, the water's already gossiping about us standing on the edge! 🏊‍♂️❄️😂
7 days ago
Share →: Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Commentary:
Blocking spammers like a hurricane on a mission! 🌪️🚫🤣
1 week ago
Share →: Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Commentary:
When your playlist takes you from spa day to a full moon werewolf rave 🌕🎶🐺
1 week ago
Share →: Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Commentary:
When life gives you existential dread, just remember it's all a yolk! 🕰️🥚😂
1 week ago
Share →: It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Commentary:
"Life hack: Always keep an extra ace up your sleeve… and a good poker face! 🤫🃏😄"
1 week ago
Share →: A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Commentary:
"When someone doesn't get it, just bee yourself and buzz by! 🍯🐝😂"
1 week ago
Share →: Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Commentary:
"Who knew angels preferred hops over halos? 🍺😇✨"
2 weeks ago
Share →: You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Commentary:
"You're the reason my floodlight has trust issues! 😂💡 #AlwaysOnGuard"

For even more funny metaphor quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny metaphor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

58 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Reported on TikTok:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Trending via Pinterest:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Freshly posted on Threads:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Making waves on Twitch:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Going viral on Reddit:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Making waves on Facebook:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

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