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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

18 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Reported on Threads:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Live now on Telegram:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Making waves on Messenger:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Home » Funny Modern Quotes

39 Funny modern quotes

Funny modern quotes are the perfect blend of wit 😄 and wisdom 🤔, offering a lighthearted escape from the everyday grind. Whether you’re navigating the chaos of adulting 🧑‍💼, surviving Monday blues 🌀, or just in need of a chuckle, these clever quips capture the humor in our fast-paced, digital world. Get ready to LOL 🤣 as you scroll through a collection of punchlines that turn life’s little moments into big laughs!

New funny modern quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Commentary:
Imagine explaining hot dogs to someone in the Renaissance: "Picture this, a sausage robe for your meat king! 🌭🤔 And what's ketchup? It's…our version of a tomato potion! 🍅🧙‍♂️"
1 week ago
Share →: Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Commentary:
"Witchcraft: Removed 'thou' broom, added 'thy' algorithm! 🧙‍♀️🤖🔥 #NotAWitchJustTechy"
1 week ago
Share →: If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Commentary:
"🤖: 1, Humans: 0… But did the robot actually write this comment too? 🤔"
2 weeks ago
Share →: The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Commentary:
“Gone are the days when we picked up the phone like we were on a mystery game show! 🤔📞 Now it's more of a 'who's the masked telemarketer?' 🎭😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Commentary:
"Why stop at just friends and smartphones? I keep my cat, snacks, and remote closer too! Priorities, right? 📱😸🍕📺"
3 weeks ago
Share →: I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Commentary:
"Just tuned into your brainwaves—amazing show! 📡😆🧠"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Commentary:
"Finally found my life's calling: Professional Screen Tapper! 😜📱✨"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Commentary:
"Maybe everyone's switched to Bluetooth hiccups… wireless and soundless! 🤫😂📡"
1 month ago
Share →: I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Commentary:
"Honestly, I'm ready for politicians to say, 'The oracle has spoken!' instead of 'The polls have spoken.' 🧙‍♂️🔮🤣"
2 months ago
Share →: If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

…

Commentary:
"When it comes to texting, we need to master time travel! ⏰📱🚀 #BackToTheResponse"

For even more funny modern quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny modern quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

18 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Just landed via Reddit:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Just shared via Instagram:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Shared recently on Threads:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Going viral on Twitch:

I run a parody bank account.

Reported on Pinterest:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Breaking via Twitch:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

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