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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,654

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Going viral on Slack:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Just landed via Slack:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Trending via Pinterest:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Breaking via Slack:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Breaking via Slack:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

68 Funny modern quotes

Funny modern quotes are the perfect blend of wit 😄 and wisdom 🤔, offering a lighthearted escape from the everyday grind. Whether you’re navigating the chaos of adulting 🧑‍💼, surviving Monday blues 🌀, or just in need of a chuckle, these clever quips capture the humor in our fast-paced, digital world. Get ready to LOL 🤣 as you scroll through a collection of punchlines that turn life’s little moments into big laughs!

New funny modern quotes 👇

I was born in the right generation. I love bedrotting and scrolling through Twitter all day.

1 week ago

bedrotting, born, day, generation, humor, i, laziness, life, love, media, modern, modern life, right, scrolling, social, social media, through, Twitter
This email could’ve been sex.

1 week ago

communication, email, humor, life, message, modern, modern life, procrastination, relationship, sex
Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

1 week ago

cheater, culture, dating, filled, hook-up, hook-up culture, marry, modern, modern dating, relationship, situationship, world
Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

1 week ago

daily, daily life, dark, dark humor, fantasy, humor, life, lord, Lord of the Rings, modern, modern life, Mordor, rings
Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

1 week ago

current, current event, event, humor, irony, life, living, modern, modern life, phrase, phrase play, play, precedented, precedented time, through, time, times
Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

1 week ago

eat, humor, life, lifestyle, love, modern, modern life, overthink, pray, scroll, snack, sometimes
What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

1 week ago

alive, collapse, collapse of Rome, comparison, historical, historical comparison, humor, life, meme, memes, modern, modern life, Rome, time
The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

1 week ago

attraction, front, horse, hottest, humor, life, little, modern, modern life, opportunity, tame, thing, unfortunately, us, woman
The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

1 week ago

condition, connection, exhaustion, fatigue, humor, independence, large, life, modern, modern life, network, observation, own, people, self-reliance, social, social connection, support, support network, things, time, tired, trying, why, wondering
There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

1 week ago

beautiful, being, celibacy, dating, due, existence, forced, frustration, horny, humor, lack, life, living, man, me, men, modern, modern life, woman, women, world, worthy, worthy man

For even more funny modern quotes, hit next 👇

All funny modern quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Threads this month:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

41 shares on X this month:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,329

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Breaking via Twitch:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Going viral on Discord:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Spotted on Threads:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Just shared via Telegram:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Just shared via Slack:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

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