12 Funny neighborhood quotes

• You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

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  7 days ago

  aging, anger, car, frustration, getting, getting old, house, humor, know, mad, neighborhood, old, outside, parked, parking, random

• There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

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  1 week ago

  apparently, big, big cat, case, casual, cat, coolers, cougar, cougar warning, humor, i, just, misunderstanding, neighborhood, neighborhood safety, nothing, safety, warning, wine, wine coolers

• I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

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  1 week ago

  animal, humor, i, irony, me, nature, neighborhood, perspective, think, thoughts, wild, wild animal, worry

• So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

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  2 weeks ago

  cat, cats, dinner, humor, loneliness, me, neighborhood, relationship, single

• God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

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  2 weeks ago

  bad, business, change, every, francisco, God, humor, just, neighborhood, never, san, San Francisco, seen, sidewalks, skeleton, spiderweb, things

• Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

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  2 weeks ago

  activity, Christmas, dog, dogs, fun, fun activity, gang, gift, giving, neighborhood, pets, sweater

• I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

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  2 weeks ago

  dog, embarrassment, Fumble, humor, i, know, lost, lost dog, neighborhood, never, pets, poster, put, responsibility, whole

• If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

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  3 weeks ago

  around, broke, friendship, humor, i, lottery, me, mean, money, move, neighborhood, relocation, truly, wealth, wealthy, win

• The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

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  3 weeks ago

  afford, being, carrot, carrot peeler, fantasy, house, humor, millennial, neighborhood, peeler, professional, salary, Sims, walkable, walkable neighborhood

• I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

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  3 weeks ago

  choice, event, fall, food, humor, i, invitation, just, move, neighborhood, planning, potluck, social, social event

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