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94 Funny old quotes

I can't wait until I'm old enough to pretend I can't hear.

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025
Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025
You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025
Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025
You know you're old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025
Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year's? Now we're old and cursing because we're staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025
Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025
"Autism didn't exist until recently!" Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025
Welcome to your 40s. "I'm too old for this shit" is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025
Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025