52 Funny pain quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

  Commentary:
  "When life gives you lemons, trade them for a harmonica and start your own blues band! "

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

  Commentary:
  "Proof that my workout motto is 'Why sweat when you can just pet the dog?' #NoPainAllGain"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

  Commentary:
  Well, well, well, looks like we've finally found the magical spell to ease our troubles! Who would have thought that a sprinkle of swear words could be the ultimate pain reliever? Now, excuse me while I practice my newfound potion-making skills next time I stub my toe!

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your pillow game is on a rollercoaster—going from painful to downright plush! Maybe your neck just has a flair for the dramatic. Time to find that perfect middle ground where comfort and support finally shake hands!

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the good ol' days when computers were drama queens! Ignoring their cries for help paved the way for the internet to take over our lives. A cautionary tale of technological rebellion that we should've listened to!

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

  Commentary:
  Looks like somone's got that "sexy back" on repeat a little too vigorously Next time, try swaying those hips with some caution, or else you might get a visit from the Sensual Injury Squad #DanceTillYouDrop

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a clock when you have your own internal heating pad schedule Sounds like your body is setting – and heating – the time! "

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

  Commentary:
  Oh no, sounds like a "cracking" experience! Who knew a phone drop could rival childbirth in pain level? Maybe it's time to invest in a sturdy case or some bubble wrap for that device!

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, my friend, even kidney stones eventually pass – just like that deadline you've been dreading or that meeting with the difficult boss. Hang in there, and before you know it, you'll be kidney-stone-free and problem-free!"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

  Commentary:
  "Cartoons really do have a way of glamorizing the most unusual things! Although getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork might look nonchalant on TV, I definitely wouldn't volunteer as tribute to test out that theory myself! "

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