91 Funny pain quotes

• Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

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  5 hours ago

  30s, 50s, ache, age, aging, complaint, everyone, good, humor, laugh, middle, middle age, moan, moaning, pain, welcome

• Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

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  7 hours ago

  God, gratitude, humor, i, joint, joints, law, marijuana, medical, medical marijuana, need, pain, pain relief, relief, state, state law, thanks

• I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

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  8 hours ago

  bite, cause, honesty, hurts, i, mind, pain, speak, speaking, speaking mind, tongue, wit

• Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

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  13 hours ago

  beverage, coke, diet, Diet Coke, gunshot, gunshot wound, humor, injury, ironic, ironic remedy, pain, pain relief, relief, remedy, wound

• You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

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  18 hours ago

  50, aging, downstairs, health, ibuprofen, know, over, over 50, pain, pain relief, relief, upstairs

• Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

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  22 hours ago

  40s, age, aging, back, back pain, every, flare-up, health, humor, know, middle, middle age, never, pain, random, random pain, time, welcome

• I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

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  1 day ago

  cheating, chili, concert, day, emotional, emotional pain, ever, feel, found, heartbreak, hot, i, me, music, pain, pepper, red, Red Hot Chili Pepper, relationship, wife

• Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

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  1 day ago

  alone, bed, different, discomfort, feels, i, know, last, means, myself, neck, neck pain, night, pain, sleep, spot, weird

• Being a reader means voluntarily signing up for fictional heartbreak, and then recommending the pain to others.

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  6 days ago

  being, book, emotional, emotional experience, experience, fiction, fictional, heartbreak, means, others, pain, reader, recommendation

• time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

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  2 weeks ago

  chase, chasing, fear, healing, humor, joke, knife, me, pain, time, wound, wounds, wrong

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