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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

9 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Reported on Threads:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Going viral on Slack:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Just landed via Threads:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Just landed via Facebook:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Just shared via X:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Breaking via Threads:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Home » Funny Raise Quotes » Page 2

12 Funny raise quotes

More funny raise quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of not sipping on a margarita while negotiating a higher salary 🍸💰 A clear mind leads to clear arguments, after all! Time to put down the cocktail and pick up the confidence instead! 🚫🍹 #RaiseNegotiationEtiquette"
6 months ago
Share →: Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Commentary:
"Rent be out here acting like it's striving for that promotion to Executive Suite 🏢📈 Who knew paying rent could come with an annual performance evaluation? 😂 Maybe it's time for a feedback session with your landlord?"

For even more funny raise quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny raise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

9 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Just shared via WeChat:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Just shared via X:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Spotted on TikTok:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Seen just now on YouTube:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Just shared via Slack:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Going viral on Twitch:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

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