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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Spotted on Messenger:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Just landed via Threads:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Seen just now on X:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Broadcasted on Threads:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

21 Funny recommend quotes

Funny recommend quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your day 😂✨ Whether you need a clever pick-me-up or a witty line to share with friends, these gems deliver laughs and good vibes every time 🤣👍 Get ready to brighten your feed and spark some smiles with the funniest recommendations around! 🎉📚 #LaughOutLoud #GoodVibesOnly

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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on X this month:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

78 shares on Threads this month:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

54 shares on Facebook this month:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,689

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Just landed via Discord:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Live now on TikTok:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Just landed via Pinterest:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

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