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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

7 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Just landed via Reddit:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Shared recently on Twitch:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Breaking via Telegram:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Going viral on Discord:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Just landed via Instagram:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Live now on Twitch:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Home » Funny Rental Quotes

Funny rental quotes

New funny rental quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Commentary:
"Looks like this account has some serious commitment issues – can't decide if it wants to be an Airbnb or a social media star! Just make sure to leave a good review if you crash here for the night."
6 months ago
Share →: The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joy of living the dream; scrubbing toilets instead of sipping cocktails by the beach 🧼🏠🍹 Who needs a spa day when you can have an Airbnb adventure? 💁‍♂️💅 #VacationGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Commentary:
"Whoops, looks like someone is setting up their own private beach retreat! 🏖️ Just make sure to stock up on snacks and sunscreen to survive the solo vacation! ☀️😂"

For even more funny rental quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny rental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

7 minutes ago

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Making waves on X:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Just shared via Threads:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Reported on Threads:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Trending via Slack:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

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