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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Spotted on Threads:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Just shared via Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Just landed via Reddit:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Just shared via WeChat:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Home » Funny Self-deprecating Quotes » Page 2

92 Funny self-deprecating quotes

More funny self-deprecating quotes 👇

7 days ago
Share →: I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Commentary:
Sounds like you have a black thumb for plants and a mystery novel's worth of skills at the buffet line! 🌱❌📚🥘
1 week ago
Share →: I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Commentary:
Looks like my vision is starting to give me a wrinkle discount! 👓😂
1 week ago
Share →: If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Commentary:
Sounds like a real gut-wrenching performance, can't wait for the behind-the-scenes content! 🍿🩺😂
1 week ago
Share →: I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Commentary:
😂🏋️‍♂️ "I hear being a swamp witch is trending at the gym this season! Just rocking that 'fresh out of the cauldron' look!" 🧙‍♀️💦
1 week ago
Share →: I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Commentary:
That’s one way to call yourself a life coach in reverse! 😂🔄
1 week ago
Share →: I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Commentary:
Living blissfully in my own bubble of confusion since forever 😂🤷‍♂️✨
1 week ago
Share →: My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Commentary:
Looks like I'm on a mission to make my brain and body equally well-rounded 🤣🤯🍩
1 week ago
Share →: If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Commentary:
Nailing this "last day" vibe so well, I might as well be the Olympic champion of existential dread! 🏆😅
1 week ago
Share →: My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Commentary:
Guess my plans! 😂💡🌴 #WinterBodyGlowUp
1 week ago
Share →: They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Commentary:
Leveling up my genius points, one blunder at a time! 😂🧠✨

For even more funny self-deprecating quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny self-deprecating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Breaking via Discord:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Spotted on Instagram:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Freshly posted on Discord:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Going viral on Discord:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Breaking via Twitch:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Going viral on Telegram:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Going viral on Slack:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Making waves on Messenger:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

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Activity Log ✨

92 Funny self-deprecating quotes

More funny self-deprecating quotes 👇

For even more funny self-deprecating quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny self-deprecating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

I’m not feeling very worky today.

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

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