61 Funny short quotes

• I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

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  4 weeks ago

  creative, creative writing, fiction, humor, joke, list, lists, productivity, short, short fiction, to-do, to-do list, writing

• The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

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  4 weeks ago

  bonus, bonus nachos, buenas, buenas no, cargo, cargo short, chip, chips, finding, food, food humor, humor, i, know, means, nachos, only, short, shorts, snack, Spanish, tortilla, tortilla chip

• Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

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  4 weeks ago

  attraction, bed, believe, desire, everyone, gender, humor, i, just, lot, noise, relationship, sexuality, short, short shorts, shorts, someone, wants

• To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

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  4 weeks ago

  career, cut, editing, editor, film, film editor, humor, i, pun, short, short story, story, storytelling

• Life is too short, and death is too long.

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  4 weeks ago

  contemplation, death, existential, humor, irony, life, short, too

• I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

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  4 weeks ago

  business, career, career change, change, half, hogan, Hulk, Hulk Hogan, humor, i, job, job search, looking, mean, motivation, new, relief, ripping, search, shirt, shirt ripping, short, story, stress, stress relief, workplace, workplace humor

• I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

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  4 weeks ago

  balance, frustration, humor, leisure, little, short, short weekend, sick, time, weekend, work life, work-life balance

• I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

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  4 weeks ago

  account, advice, bank, financial, financial humor, humor, i, joke, life, life advice, life motto, living, money, motto, need, short, spending, stop, words

• “Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

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  4 weeks ago

  confusion, humor, i, idea, interaction, joke, name, sarcasm, short, social, social interaction

• The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

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  4 weeks ago

  behavior, dehumanizing, eat, eating, food, humor, men, nothing, relationship, short, single

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