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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has downloaded:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has copied:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has copied:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has copied:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has viewed:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has downloaded:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Trending via Reddit:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Live now on X:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Just shared via Twitch:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Trending via Instagram:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

435 Funny should quotes

Funny should quotes πŸ€”πŸ˜‚ are the ultimate way to sprinkle some hilarity on life’s endless list of things we *should* do. Why follow the mundane when you can laugh your way through the must-dos? Whether it’s about eating veggies or exercising, these quirky musings turn obligation into amusement. So, let’s flip the script and giggle through the shoulds, because life’s too short for a boring to-do list! Ready to chuckle at what we *should* be doing? Let’s dive in! πŸ˜œπŸŽ‰

New funny should quotes πŸ‘‡

For even more funny should quotes, hit next πŸ‘‡

All funny should quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Telegram this month:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

24 shares on Slack this month:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s β€œpiqued” your interest, not β€œpeaked”.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I bring a very β€œare you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,393

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has copied:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has shared:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has viewed:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has copied:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has viewed:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on TikTok:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I miss you when I wake up before you.

Making waves on YouTube:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Trending via Discord:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Making waves on Telegram:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Just shared via Telegram:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as β€œthe stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

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