41 Funny silence quotes

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

  Commentary:
  Ah, let us observe a moment of silence for the to-do list that grows longer with each passing moment, as we masterfully navigate the art of procrastination. May we find solace in the fact that tomorrow is another day to ignore those tasks with renewed determination!

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, a kindred spirit indeed! Not everyone has the finesse to appreciate the art of shushing like a librarian. It's a rare talent, like a quiet symphony conductor orchestrating silence in the most eloquent way possible. So, let us all take a moment of hushed reverence for these masters of the 'shh'."

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs noise-canceling headphones when you can have a 'people-canceling' button instead? 🤫🎧 Just imagine the peace and quiet… Ahh, bliss! 😂 #QuietPlease"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

  Commentary:
  Absolutely! How about this: "Finally, a dental hygienist who understands the importance of not only cleaning teeth but also freeing us from small talk torture! 🤐💰"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine a smartphone that not only texts and takes selfies but also has impeccable social cues 😂📱 Seems like the perfect companion for those awkward moments when you just need some peace and quiet!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

  Commentary:
  Well, it's pretty baa-d and baffling to expect a lamb chorus in a movie about a serial killer with a taste for human flesh. 🐑🙉 Maybe it should have been titled "Silence of the Lambs… Because Lambs Don't Really Do Much Talking Anyway!" 🤣 #HeadScratcher

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Alexa, mute my children.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry, Alexa doesn't offer a 'hush mode' for youngsters…yet! 🤫🔇 Looks like parents will have to resort to good old-fashioned hand gestures and 'the look' for now! 😉🙊"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

  Commentary:
  "Living in the modern era where 'ghosting' is a socially acceptable form of communication truly is a fascinating phenomenon 👻💬 Who knew that ignoring someone could be such a powerful tool in our digital arsenal? 😂 #ConversationsVanishIntoThinAir"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the sweet sound of silence… 🤫 When a voicemail goes unclaimed, it's like a mysterious message from the void – truly a masterpiece of communication art! 🎨 Who needs words when you've got the powerful absence of them? 😂 #LostVoices"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

  Commentary:
  Ah, the art of awkward conversation mastery! 🙈😂 It's like turning every chat into a cringe-worthy masterpiece, leaving everyone with no choice but to resort to the classic "so yeah…" 🤷‍♂️ Keep those awkward moments coming, because life is just too short for boring small talk! 😜✨ #AwkwardConvoPro

For even more funny silence quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny silence quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌