Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Jan 6, 2026

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Spotted on Telegram:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Spotted on Messenger:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Just shared via TikTok:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Making waves on Twitch:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Spotted on X:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

15 Funny stopped quotes

Funny stopped quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when things just come to a screeching halt 😂🚦 Whether it’s awkward pauses, unexpected interruptions, or simply giving up in the quirkiest way, these gems will have you chuckling every time. Ready to laugh out loud and embrace the art of stopping with style? Let’s dive into some witty wisdom that proves sometimes, stopping is the best move! 😜✨

New funny stopped quotes 👇

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

0

2 months ago

anything, communication, else, email, emails, end, feel, free, humor, i, need, please, politeness, reach, sarcasm, stopped, writing
Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

0

2 months ago

communication, dating, friendship, humor, i, life, lot, media, message, people, relationship, social, social life, social media, stopped, texting, while
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

0

2 months ago

alphabet, confusion, humor, i, joke, learning, math, stopped, understanding
You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

0

2 months ago

attitude, funny attitude, guys, here, humor, humor quote, procrastination, sarcasm, stopped, week, work, work humor
“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

0

2 months ago

dating, funniness, happiness, happy, humor, i, relationship, sarcasm, stopped, thanks
Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

0

2 months ago

accurate, acronym, expression, going, humor, humor expression, internet, internet slang, joke, little, lol, SALTS, sarcasm, slang, start, stopped, texting, wit, writing
I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

0

2 months ago

ago, consequence, consequences, email, emails, fine, humor, i, procrastination, responding, response, silence, stopped, three
Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

0

2 months ago

2019, after, being, humor, life, perception, real, reality, stopped, time
Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

0

2 months ago

car, driving, feature, highway, humor, making, maybe, newer, oh, shake, stopped, technology, weird
I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

0

2 months ago

2015, after, bed, disaster, experiment, great, honey, i, mishap, relationship, stopped

For even more funny stopped quotes, hit next 👇

All funny stopped quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Instagram this month:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

14 shares on Slack this month:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

20 shares on X this month:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

13 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Spotted on YouTube:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Seen just now on Slack:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

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