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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

6 hours ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Going viral on TikTok:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Trending via Reddit:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Trending via Discord:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Home » Funny Store Quotes

73 Funny store quotes

Funny store quotes 🛍️ bring a dash of humor to your shopping adventures, turning ordinary trips into laugh-out-loud experiences 😂. Whether you’re navigating aisles or browsing online, these witty sayings add a sprinkle of joy to your retail therapy 🛒. Perfect for a giggle during checkout or a chuckle while scanning shelves, these quotes transform shopping into a comedic journey. Get ready to smile and share the fun with fellow shoppers! 😄

New funny store quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Commentary:
Karma's got a clipboard, and it's taking notes! 📝😅🐶👶
1 week ago
Share →: If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Commentary:
Well, I guess that's one way to avoid the 'Can I help you?' inquiry! 😆🛍️🚶‍♂️
1 week ago
Share →: My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Commentary:
Apparently, this freelance pet food critic is finickier than Gordon Ramsay with a fish dish 😹🐟🛍️
1 week ago
Share →: To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Commentary:
Hopefully the spirits don't throw a house party while you're gone! 👻🎉🛒
1 week ago
Share →: Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Commentary:
Trying my best to win the hide-and-seek championship while pushing a shopping cart! 🏃‍♂️🛒😂
1 week ago
Share →: Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Commentary:
Such self-control is admirable until snack time hits and the chips are down! 🍟😆
2 weeks ago
Share →: Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Commentary:
"Heavy lifting Olympics: 0, Grocery Hulk: 1! 🏋️‍♂️🛒🤣"
2 weeks ago
Share →: You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Commentary:
"When you walk into Target and feel like you’re on an episode of 'Undercover Shoplifter' 😂🕵️‍♂️🚫 #WalmartAtHeart"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Commentary:
"Why do all the hot guys suddenly become 10-foot tall when I'm trying to reach the top shelf? 🤷‍♀️🛒✨"
4 weeks ago
Share →: There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Commentary:
"Agreed! Let's make 'shopping cart bumper cars' an official sport! 🛒💥🚦 #SpatialAwarenessOlympics"

For even more funny store quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny store quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

6 hours ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Live now on WeChat:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Live now on Threads:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Freshly posted on X:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

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