97 Funny store quotes

• I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

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  3 hours ago

  cheaper, decision, economics, grocery, grocery store, humor, i, inside, money, purchase, shopping, store

• Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

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  6 hours ago

  aisle, aisles, around, confusion, everyday, everyday life, gangster, grocery, grocery store, humor, life, store, struggle

• Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

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  8 hours ago

  closed, good, good things, horoscope, humor, irony, optimism, repairs, store, things

• If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

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  10 hours ago

  break, bring, child, curiosity, expensive, humor, item, just, kid, mishap, parenting, shopping, store

• Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

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  16 hours ago

  chicken, food, food humor, grocery, grocery store, humor, hunt, lot, parking, parking lot, ready, rotisserie, rotisserie chicken, shopping, shopping humor, store, thrill, waiting

• We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

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  19 hours ago

  alien, before, Earth, grocery, grocery store, humor, joke, need, newcomer, people, shopping, store

• At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

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  1 day ago

  change, dealing, discussing, ever, frustration, grocery, grocery store, health, humor, i, layout, mental, mental health, next, session, shopping, store, therapy, trauma

• Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

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  1 day ago

  40, adult, adult dating, after, chance, comparison, damaged, dating, funny comparison, humor, item, least, over, over 40, relationship, second, second chance, smell, store, thrift, thrift store, trying

• Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

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  1 day ago

  ahead, bargain, couple, discount, dollar, Dollar Tree, dollars, humor, joke, just, money, name, needs, price, retail, shopping, store, store name, tree

• I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

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  1 day ago

  advice, care, dog, funny advice, grocery, grocery store, hear, home, hour, humor, i, know, needs, pet, pet care, restaurant, stay, store

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