31 Funny survival quotes

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  6 days ago

  Share →: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

  Commentary:
  And here I thought "hot dog" was just a nickname! 🌭🧀🐶

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: “Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

  Commentary:
  "Poor 'rofl,' rolled away into the sunset, while 'lmao' is still laughing his… assets off! 😂🤣 #RIPROFL"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

  Commentary:
  "Speed talking: because who needs survival instincts when you have wit? 😂👄💨"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the silent office camaraderie of locking eyes with a fellow meeting sufferer, sharing a moment of 'Can you believe this?' without saying a word. 🤨👀 It's like our secret language of sanity in a sea of corporate absurdity!"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone's meal prep game is on point for the end of the world! Who needs a grocery store when you've got a basement buffet waiting? Bring on the apocalypse – this person's ready to feast like never before!"

  Fun Fact or Trivia:
  Did you know that some preppers stockpile food in their basements in preparation for apocalyptic scenarios? These individuals are often referred to as "doomsday preppers" and go to great lengths to ensure they have enough food and supplies to survive a disaster.

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

  Commentary:
  Well, that's a relief! Looks like I won't have to worry about the zombies mistaking me for a buffet anytime soon. I guess all those years of studying and working on my brainpower are finally paying off – literally a life-saving investment!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

  Commentary:
  Well, attempting to navigate life with grace and dignity is like trying to wrangle a herd of unruly unicorns 🦄🦄. It's a delicate dance of balancing on one foot while juggling flaming marshmallows 🔥🔥. But hey, as long as you've got your sense of humor intact, you're halfway there! 😄 #LifeGoals #GracefulMess

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the good ol' 90s rap battles: where survival was the ultimate flex! 💥💀 Let's just say, winning those battles was a real 'life or death' situation back then! 😂🎤 #RapBattleRoyale"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the drama of being a third wheel in the soap opera of life! 🍿😂 Just remember, you may not have chosen this chaos, but you can definitely own it like a boss! 💪😜 #ThirdWheelProblems

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

  Commentary:
  Ahoy matey! 🏴‍☠️ Avast ye, ’tis Monday again! 🦜 Let us bravely face the high seas of another workweek and combat the monsters of emails and deadlines with gallant spirits! 👩‍💼⚔️💼 May the winds of productivity be ever at your back as you navigate through the treacherous waters of the workplace! ⛵️🌊 Keep thy courage and wit sharp as a blade.

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