67 Funny survival quotes

• Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

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  29 minutes ago

  activity, alive, anxiety, embarrassing, embarrassment, everyone, humor, life, social, social anxiety, survival, swimming, want

• Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

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  3 hours ago

  actually, cannibal, capture, feeding, food, getting, humor, irony, joke, me, survival, terrifying, thought, unexpected, well

• So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

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  3 hours ago

  anyone, apocalypse, belief, climate, climate disaster, die, disaster, disasters, end, humor, just, know, mass, mass belief, psychosis, religion, religious, satire, survival, thing

• They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

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  10 hours ago

  alive, enjoy, financial, financial joke, finished, humor, joke, life, money, said, short, short life, spending, still, survival

• If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

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  12 hours ago

  advice, answer, bite, death, die, give, humor, joke, poison, should, simply, snake, sure, survival, wait

• Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

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  13 hours ago

  age, berry, choice, dying, foraging, humor, irony, life, life choice, nonsense, survival, wild

• Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

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  16 hours ago

  animal, animals, closing, everyone, having, humiliating, humiliation, humor, hungry, i, knows, link, me, sunburn, survival, unprepared, weakness, wilderness

• Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

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  1 day ago

  always, case, existence, humanity, humor, irony, philosophy, skepticism, survival

• You don’t read Dostoevsky. You survive him.

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  1 week ago

  book, Dostoevsky, humor, literature, read, reading, survival, survive

• Feel like if a bunch of gays were stranded on a desert island, they’d all drop that voice thing in, like, a day.

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  1 week ago

  accent, behavior, day, desert, desert island, drop, feel, gay, humor, island, social, social behavior, stereotype, stranded, survival, thing, voice

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