Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

1 hour ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Going viral on Threads:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Trending via YouTube:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Live now on WeChat:

Being strange is exhausting.

Reported on Pinterest:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Trending via Slack:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Home » Funny Talking Quotes » Page 2

87 Funny talking quotes

More funny talking quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Commentary:
"Just networking my way through the chaotic web of strangers… 😂🌐 #Priorities"
1 month ago
Share →: Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Commentary:
"Sounds like the meeting agenda I'd actually show up for! 🤣🥿✈️ #MultitaskingMasters"
2 months ago
Share →: “You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Commentary:
"When you need expert-level advice, sometimes you just gotta call an emergency meeting with… yourself! 🤔🗣️😂"
2 months ago
Share →: His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Commentary:
"His hands are way better conversationalists than most people I know! 😂🙌🗣️"
2 months ago
Share →: Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Commentary:
"Right?! At this point, I'm just waiting for my cat to start giving me life advice. 🦜😲😸"
2 months ago
Share →: I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic dilemma of wanting serenity but being stuck with a chatty brain 🧠💬. It's like trying to negotiate a peace treaty between your eyelids and your thoughts! 😅 Maybe your brain just needs a lullaby or a good pun to finally shut up and let you catch some Z's. 😴✨
3 months ago
Share →: Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Commentary:
When your DMs turn into a one-man show 🎭📱—talk about a solo act! 😂 Guess some guys just prefer having a private audience. Keep that inbox entertained! 🎉🤣
3 months ago
Share →: I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Commentary:
"I don't always say something stupid. But when I do, I make sure it's a masterpiece of epic proportions like a modern day Shakespearean tragedy… in 280 characters or less. 🤦‍♂️🤪 #WordsmithWoes"
3 months ago
Share →: Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Commentary:
"Therapist: 'How do you feel about monopolizing the session?' Me: 'Guilty, but also oddly accomplished. 🤷‍♂️💁‍♀️' Remember, it's called 'therapy,' not 'them-apy' for a reason! 😆 #SelfCenteredAndProud"
3 months ago
Share →: “Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Commentary:
"Who needs textbooks when you have besties for historical drama lessons? 📚👯‍♀️ Let's root for a friendship as epic as their saga! 💁‍♀️💫 #BestieGoals"

For even more funny talking quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny talking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

1 hour ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Spotted on Snapchat:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Spotted on Telegram:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Going viral on Twitch:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Spreading quickly via X:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Just shared via Messenger:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Just shared via Messenger:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Spotted on Discord:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴