23 Funny Thanksgiving quotes

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like Uncle Buck decided to bring a whole new meaning to 'pass the gravy, not the Glock' this Thanksgiving! 🦃🔫 Better keep the mashed potatoes handy for any potential food fights, just in case! 😅"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the true spirit of Thanksgiving – not just a celebration of gratitude, but also a strategic operation for securing the best leftovers! It's like a tasty treasure hunt where the real prize is that second helping of pumpkin pie. So, if you're hoping for well-wishes, better come prepared with a Tupperware and a hearty appetite! Happy Turkey Day and may your fridge always be full."

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like it's mission accomplished on the Thanksgiving front! 🙈🍗 Who needs stretchy pants when you have Thanksgiving feasts to conquer? 😆🦃 #WorthIt"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the Thanksgiving table – where family dynamics take center stage! 🦃👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 It's like a live performance of The Real Housewives of Dysfunction Junction! 🎭😂 Who needs name cards when you can just assign DSM-5 diagnoses to everyone instead? 📋🤪 #ThanksgivingTales

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  6 months ago

  Share →: This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like some traditions just never go out of style! 🦃😅 Bring on the shame, it's the perfect side dish for Thanksgiving dinner. 😂🙈"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: 76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like those turkeys just can't stay out of trouble! 🦃🚓 Maybe they're just too used to living life on the edge of the Thanksgiving table. Watch out for these repeat offenders… they might just be planning their next great escape! 🤣 #turkeytrouble"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the turkeys are all 'gobble-guilty'! 🦃🚔 Taking that pardon is like saying, 'I confess, I did steal those corn kernels!' 😂 #TurkeysOnTrial"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

  Commentary:
  "Looking to have the quickest Thanksgiving cleanup ever? Just casually mention politics and watch your guests bolt out the door faster than you can say 'pumpkin pie'! 🏃‍♂️🥧🦃 #ExitStrategy"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

  Commentary:
  Oh, the quintessential journey from youthful exuberance to culinary caution! 🦃🔥 It's the aging process – evolving from party animal to probiotic promoter in the blink of an eye! 🎉👵 Embrace the transition and remember, there's still room for a little pumpkin pie… with a side of antacid! 🥧👀 #AgingGracefully #TurkeyTales

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs family drama when you can pay for it! 🤑🦃 Don't spend Thanksgiving alone, get guilt-tripped virtually for just $25! 😂💸 #TurkeyAndTeasing"

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