35 Funny Thanksgiving quotes

• I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

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  4 hours ago

  backyard, celebration, cleaning, family, finished, holiday, house, humor, i, just, looking, Thanksgiving, Thursday

• Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

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  1 month ago

  absurd, again, apart, Christmas, family, holiday, holiday season, humor, insane, months, people, reunion, season, should, six, socializing, soon, Thanksgiving, timing

• “Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

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  2 months ago

  2nd, after, attitude, blues, everyone, holiday, holiday season, January, January 2nd, job, Monday, office, office job, post-holiday, post-holiday blues, procrastination, season, Thanksgiving, work, work attitude

• My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

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  2 months ago

  alone, awkwardness, blair, Blair Witch, corner, dinner, family, humor, role, Thanksgiving, witch

• The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

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  2 months ago

  being, best, celebration, family, food, friend, friends, gathering, holiday, pie, Thanksgiving

• Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

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  2 months ago

  celebration, cute, food, fork, holding, holiday, humor, just, me, medieval, medieval warrior, Thanksgiving, trying, warrior, while

• My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

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  2 months ago

  bit, conversation, every, family, family gathering, gathering, going, holiday, humor, incorrectly, joke, mispronunciation, name, politician, politicians, politics, Thanksgiving

• Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

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  2 months ago

  everything, except, holiday, humor, power, satire, sex, Thanksgiving

• Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

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  2 months ago

  attack, bolt, dinner, dinner table, family, family dinner, funny attack, holiday, holiday meal, lightning, lightning bolt, meal, table, Thanksgiving, uncle

• In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

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  2 months ago

  asked, before, clean, effort, else, family, holiday, house, humor, joke, keep, live, moving, somewhere, Thanksgiving

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