Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Just landed via Telegram:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Going viral on Twitch:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Spotted on X:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Seen just now on Twitch:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Just landed via YouTube:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Shared recently on X:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs a guard dog when you've got an army of plushies fighting off the under-bed monsters? 🧸👾🛌

bedtime, comfort, eaten, guys, humor, imagination, imagine, monster, monsters, plushie, sleep, sleeping

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

0

2 months ago

anything, going, hell, humor, joke, need, needs, sarcasm
Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

0

2 months ago

accommodation, Airbnb, house, humor, joke, quiet, travel
Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

0

4 months ago

communication, email, emails, humor, i, know, phrase, sarcasm, sign, sign off, start
Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, going, humor, poetry, red, relaxation, roses, roses are red, sleep
Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, comedy, humor, irony, lighthearted, little, paper, parody, question, quirk, trying
If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

0

2 months ago

behavior, cat, couch, humor, leave, lift, pet, pet behavior, Velcro, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Telegram this month:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

37 shares on Slack this month:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

I will never stop being a quitter!

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Trending via Telegram:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Spreading quickly via X:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Just shared via Reddit:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Making waves on X:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Just landed via Facebook:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Trending via Twitch:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨