Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,894

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Shared recently on WeChat:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Making waves on Threads:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Spotted on Discord:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Spotted on Facebook:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

More funny quotes 👇

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

0

5 months ago

awake, clock, every, grandfather, grandfather clock, hour, humor, insomnia, nothing, remind, reminder, sleep, still, time
They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

0

5 months ago

bro, control, humor, literally, media, mind, mind control, program, programming, satire, TV, TV program, us
Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

0

5 months ago

communication, culture, form, humor, information, internet, internet culture, meme, memes, most
Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

0

5 months ago

character, daily, day, goal, humor, identity, main, main character, media, never, social, social media, Twitter
Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

0

5 months ago

addicted, addiction, bad, bad posture, body, body health, comfort, comfortable, give, health, humor, posture, scoliosis, why, yourself
“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

0

5 months ago

attitude, bit, everything, humor, joke, little, me, sarcasm, unfortunately, wit
Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

0

5 months ago

beauty, beauty routine, bikini, bikini wax, coffee, cup, humor, morning, need, routine, schedule, thing, wax
If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

0

5 months ago

am, demise, escape, humor, i, plotting, quiet, sarcasm, threat, witty
Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

0

5 months ago

day, energetic, feeling, humor, i, maybe, morning, parallel, parallel universe, refreshed, somewhere, thinking, tiredness, universe, wake, wake up, wishful, wishful thinking
Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

0

5 months ago

bother, communication, debt, humor, late, late reply, love, me, money, patience, relationship, reply, take, time

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re my least favourite notification.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

81 shares on X this month:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Live now on Reddit:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Going viral on Messenger:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Going bananas on X:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Trending via Reddit:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Making waves on Reddit:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Just landed via WeChat:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨