Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,921

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Breaking via Twitch:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Making waves on X:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Reddit this month:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Just landed via Messenger:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Breaking via Telegram:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Live now on X:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Shared recently on Slack:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Just landed via Threads:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨