Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,035

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Just landed via WeChat:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Live now on Reddit:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Making waves on Messenger:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Live now on LinkedIn:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Just landed via Messenger:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Just shared via Reddit:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

More funny quotes 👇

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

0

6 days ago

appear, best, buy, finding, humor, irony, item, learned, lesson, life, life lesson, lost, lost item, problem, problem-solving, replacement, solving, something, spontaneous
Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

0

6 days ago

brag, child, children, communication, everything, humor, i, irony, knowledge, parenting, today, told
I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

0

6 days ago

attitude, check, complaint, complaints, contact, daughter, humor, i, manufacturer, parent-child, please, response, told, witty, witty response
What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

0

6 days ago

alarm, alarm clock, bed, bedtime, before, clock, clocks, hope, humor, i, just, morning, morning routine, people, routine, sleep, time, tomorrow, wake, waking, waking up, work
Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

0

1 week ago

book, book recommendation, books, brain, brain rot, fiction, humor, reading, recommendation, return, rot, self-help, self-help book
Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

0

1 week ago

figure, figure skating, humor, i, ice, ice rink, joke, medalist, niche, niche sport, Olympic, Olympic medalist, rink, skating, sometimes, sport, sport joke, walk
You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

0

1 week ago

actual, always, bad, bad music, behavior, criticism, ever, fan, fan behavior, fans, focus, meaning, music, music criticism, music fan, music taste, notice, song, song meaning, songs, taste, worst
I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

0

1 week ago

aging, am, bathroom, complaint, forty, frustration, going, humor, i, should, sick, time, tired
Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

0

1 week ago

bond, college, conversation, forming, friendship, humor, interaction, people, powerful, social, social interaction, talk, twice, unspoken
Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

0

1 week ago

anything, bright, Christmas, done, fog, humor, improve, nose, red, red nose, reindeer, Rudolph, Santa, visibility

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Making waves on Facebook:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Just shared via TikTok:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Spotted on Threads:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Going bananas on Discord:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨