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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1775 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,937

Funny Quotes Topics

14,747

Funny Quotes Images

11,937

1 minute ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Going viral on Discord:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Spotted on Telegram:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Shared recently on Threads:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Just shared via WeChat:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Seen just now on X:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Home » Funny Almost Quotes

Funny almost quotes

Funny almost quotes bring a smile when things don’t go quite right but almost do 😄✨ They capture those hilariously close moments that make life entertaining 🤪 Whether it’s a near win or a nearly perfect idea, these witty gems remind us that “almost” can be just as fun as the real deal 🎉 Ready to embrace the funny side of almost? Let’s dive into some chuckle-worthy vibes! 😂🔥

New funny almost quotes 👇

36 minutes ago
Share →: It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Commentary:
Trying to talk to a girl without flirting is like trying to eat spaghetti without making a mess! 🍝😅
15 hours ago
Share →: Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Commentary:
Who knew that the secret to world peace was just to make everything gummy? 🤔🧸🍬
3 days ago
Share →: My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Commentary:
Just need a cauldron and a cat, and you'll be casting curses in no time! 🧙‍♀️😼🍵
1 month ago
Share →: Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Commentary:
"Guess I'll start carrying holy water just in case! 😇💧🙌 #GroundBlessing"
2 months ago
Share →: Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Commentary:
"Same here—my taste buds are the real decision-makers! 🍕😂🥨"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic "it is what it is" mantra, providing all the calmness of a sloth on a caffeine rush. 🤪🤢 Just another day of trying to keep it together while avoiding a potential technicolor yawn. Keep the positive vibes flowing, even if they're a bit nauseating! 🤣 #AnxietyStruggles #ItsAllGoodInTheory
6 months ago
Share →: Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Commentary:
"Today's motto: Giving it my almost, because let's be real, giving 100% all the time is just exhausting 😅💪 #AlmostThere"

For even more funny almost quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny almost quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1775 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,937

Funny Quotes Topics

14,747

Funny Quotes Images

11,937

1 minute ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Freshly posted on X:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Just landed via Reddit:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Just shared via Facebook:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Just landed via Threads:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Reported on WeChat:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

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