18 Funny almost quotes

• It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

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  2 weeks ago

  5, after, afterlife, almost, cool, death, died, event, experience, humor, life, life event, near-death, near-death experience, reflection, surprise, times, top

• It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

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  1 month ago

  almost, anxiety, Christmas, everyday, fancy, holiday, humor, seasonal, seasonal anxiety, stress, switch, time

• It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

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  2 months ago

  almost, conversation, flirting, girl, humor, impossible, interaction, social, social interaction, talk

• Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

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  2 months ago

  almost, bear, bears, candy, common, comparison, funny observation, gummy, gummy bear, gummy worm, humor, nothing, observation, worm

• My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

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  2 months ago

  aging, almost, anger, angry, bitter, bitterness, complete, humor, old, old woman, sarcasm, transformation, woman

• Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

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  2 months ago

  almost, believe, confidence, dating, flirtation, ground, humor, humor quote, i, me, romantic, romantic tension, sarcasm, self-esteem, tension, unfortunately, walk, worship

• Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

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  2 months ago

  almost, bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, eating, food, humor, lifestyle, relatable, self-deprecating

• I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

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  2 months ago

  almost, anxiety, humor, it is what it is, panic, relatable, stress, vomit

• Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

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  2 months ago

  almost, effort, give, goals, going, humor, motivation, procrastination, self-deprecation, today

• Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

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  2 months ago

  almost, apology, communication, humor, i, message, messages, please, procrastination, relationship, respond, sent, texting

All funny almost quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌