Commentary:
Guess I’ll have to hide my happiness behind my resting grump face then! 😄🙃
242 Funny behavior quotes
My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.
Commentary:
Cart collector in training 🛒😂 Just call me the window shopping champion! 🏆✨
The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.
Commentary:
I guess they didn't have "train-ing" for that back then! 🚂😱😂
My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?
Commentary:
Cats have an MBA in blaming others. Next, they'll demand an apology letter and a spotless résumé. ☕😹
Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.
Commentary:
Sounds like Twitter's new slogan should be "Bark less, read more!" 📰🐶
The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.
Commentary:
An audacity of reply guys: where every comment is a standing ovation to their own opinion 😂🙌
Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.
Commentary:
Who knew cats were secretly training us for the Olympics? 🏃♂️🐈⬛😹
Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.
Commentary:
Who knew my annoying superpower would have such an affordable price tag? 💸😄🌐
Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“
Commentary:
"Classic Carl, always ruining a good flight. 😂💀🦗"
If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.
Commentary:
"Oops, my bad! Turns out my 'goodnight' had a snooze button! 😴🔄🤣"