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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Seen just now on Slack:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Spotted on Twitch:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Just landed via Discord:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Trending via Telegram:

My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

Just landed via X:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Spotted on X:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Going bananas on Instagram:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

35 Funny books quotes

Funny books quotes 📚😂 bring laughter and wit straight to your reading nook! Whether you’re a bookworm or just love clever wordplay, these gems will brighten your day and spark joy between the pages. Ready to giggle, snort, and smile? Dive into a world where humor meets literature, and let the fun begin! 🤓✨📖

New funny books quotes 👇

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All funny books quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

78 shares on YouTube this month:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having a job is insane because they give you actual money in exchange for pressing the buttons.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Scrolling should count as cardio.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

May you heal from that fanfic that never got updated.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,731

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Spotted on Reddit:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Making waves on WeChat:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Trending via Telegram:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Live now on Reddit:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

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