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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,941

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,941

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Just landed via Facebook:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Making waves on Discord:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Just landed via Twitch:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Seen just now on TikTok:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,941

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,941

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Just shared via YouTube:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Spotted on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Live now on Threads:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Just landed via Snapchat:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Shared recently on Discord:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Trending via Reddit:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

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