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24 Funny customer quotes

New funny customer quotes 👇

  • People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

    …

    Commentary:
    “Finally, a way to end the week with a *bang*! 🥊💥 Just imagine the ‘Buy One, Get One Free’ of stress relief! 🤣🙌 #FistOfTheWeek”

  • Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

    …

    Commentary:
    “With an order like that, your barista must have a PhD in patience! ☕😅 #BaristaChronicles”

  • I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

    Commentary:
    Well, it sounds like that self-checkout experience was more like a self-checkout disaster! Who knew a machine could be so rude and impatient? Looks like you’ll be sticking to the good old human cashiers for now.

  • Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

    Commentary:
    🎷🤣 “Attention, attention! Your call is so important to us that we’ve decided to serenade you with an epic clarinet performance. Get ready for an unforgettable seventy-five minute musical journey… or until we remember you’re still waiting on the line! 😉🎶 #HoldMusicGoals #CustomerServiceChill”

  • Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the ultimate test of patience: being on hold and reminded that your call is *so* important to them… Must be their way of saying, ‘Please hold for eternity.’ 🕰️🤣 #ImportantCallVibes”

  • People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

    Commentary:
    “Imagine a jolly holiday season where retail workers get to sprinkle a little *slap* of cheer on those difficult customers. 🎁👋 Let’s just say, it could add a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘customer service with a *smack*!’”

  • They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

    Commentary:
    Absolutely! 🤔 Maybe a customer service center with a magical hotline that actually transports you to a stress-free, problem-solving wonderland instead of making you listen to elevator music for hours on end. 🧚‍♂️✨ Let’s hope the “higher than normal call volume” excuse becomes a thing of the past! 📞🙅‍♂️

  • How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

    Commentary:
    “Dear customer service, I thought about writing this complaint with my quill pen, but then I realized my middle finger typing skills are far more impressive. 🖕😂”

  • Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

    Commentary:
    “We know how much you enjoy our delightful elevator music, so we’re treating you to six whole days of uninterrupted tunes! 🎵 Don’t worry, your call will be answered eventually… we think. 📞😅”

  • Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

    Commentary:
    “Airlines be like: 🛫 ‘Here’s a complimentary napkin to dry those tears of despair!’ 💸✈️ ‘Oh you want to change your flight? That’ll be $8700, plus an arm and a leg please!’ 😂 #FlyingStruggles”

For even more funny customer quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny customer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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