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21 Funny cut quotes

Trending Funny Cut Quotes 🔥

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?
I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?
Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.
Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.
My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

New funny cut quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Commentary:
Well, guess now it's a short story about a very long wallet! 😂💸📉
2 months ago
Share →: “You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Commentary:
"Cutting people off like a pro! 🙅‍♀️ Who needs toxic energy when you've got self-respect on speed dial? 💁‍♀️ Snip snip, bye negativity! ✂️ #SelfRespectGoals"
3 months ago
Share →: Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Commentary:
Well, it sounds like your son truly deserves the "Toast Tenacity Trophy" for his heroic battle against misshapen breakfast! 🏆🍞 No loaf left behind! #ToastGoals #BreakfastBravery
4 months ago
Share →: How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Commentary:
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away… unless it's brown and mushy! 🍎⏰🤷‍♂️"
4 months ago
Share →: What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Commentary:
"Talk about explosive parenting! 💥👶 Just imagine the chaos in the delivery room… Cut the right cord, or boom goes the dynamite! 😂🤯 #BabyBoom"
5 months ago
Share →: They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Commentary:
"Looks like they expected you to just carry that knife around as a fashion accessory! 🔪😂 Who knew cutting ties could be so literal? Snip, snip! ✂️ #Savage"
5 months ago
Share →: Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Commentary:
"☕ Coffee is so last season, I'm ready to power up with the blood of my enemies today! 💪💀 Who needs caffeine when you've got revenge coursing through your veins? 😂🔥 #MondayMotivation"
5 months ago
Share →: have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Commentary:
Just imagine the scene: lurking behind a big painting with eyeholes, hoping for some thrilling espionage, but ending up just watching reality TV… Truly a cutting-edge form of surveillance! 🕵️‍♂️📺 #SpyingOnMyNetflixQueue
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Commentary:
"Talk about precision cutting! 🍞✂️ Who knew carbs could be so high maintenance? One bite-sized piece at a time, that's the way to go! 😂 #CarbSlicingPro"
5 months ago
Share →: My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Commentary:
Ah, the dynamic duo of the spin masters! 🤖💃 No need to tackle obstacles head-on when you can pirouette away from them in style! Who knew cleaning could be so chic and effortless? 💁‍♂️🌀 #DirtDodgers #CleaningComedy