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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Making waves on Discord:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Spotted on YouTube:

All I think about is death and sex.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Trending via Twitch:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Spotted on YouTube:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Trending via WeChat:

Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

Spotted on Telegram:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

5 days ago

butterfly, butterfly feeling, dating, emotions, feeling, feelings, give, having, humor, i, me, miss, people, point, relationships, roach, roach vibe, vibe, vibes
Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

6 days ago

amount, before, breakup, dating, evil, evil ex, ex, experience, humor, love, meet, need, normal, normal ex, offer, relationship, right, serious, situationship, spouse, three, truly
You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

6 days ago

comment, communication, dating, etiquette, free, humor, joke, just, legal, media, nice, people, photo, relationship, social, social media, three
People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

6 days ago

always, commitment, commitment issue, dating, distant, emotionally, emotionally distant, eye, fish, got, humor, issue, issues, people, relationship, salmon, say, sea, specific
If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

6 days ago

allegation, allegations, best, best friend, bestfriending, dating, enough, friend, friendship, hard, humor, relationship
I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

6 days ago

annoyance, annoyed, compatibility, cringe, dating, humor, humorous, i, interest, just, relationship, same, shared, shared interest, someone, things, want
If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

6 days ago

Alpha, alpha female, bedtime, dating, dragon, else, female, humor, know, need, night, personality, relationship, turn
Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

6 days ago

dating, humor, humor quote, laughter, rejection, reply, romantic, sarcasm, single, someone, still, words
Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

6 days ago

asked, cultural, dating, digits, German, girl, humor, i, joke, language, number, pun, rest, still, waiting
“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

6 days ago

dating, funniness, happiness, happy, humor, i, relationship, sarcasm, stopped, thanks

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Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on X this month:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

56 shares on Discord this month:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

80 shares on Instagram this month:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

34 shares on Discord this month:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Just landed via X:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Shared recently on Slack:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Making waves on Messenger:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Activity Log ✨

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨