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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,800

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Seen just now on X:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Making waves on Messenger:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Live now on YouTube:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Going viral on Messenger:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Breaking via TikTok:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Making waves on Reddit:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

491 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

0

2 months ago

dating, existence, girlfriend, God, humor, humorist, irony, love, me, needs, neglect, only, relationship, sarcasm, something, treats, unrequited, unrequited love
Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

0

2 months ago

attempt, dating, dating profile, entertainment, free, game, humor, humor attempt, joke, media, profile, social, social media, think
If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

0

2 months ago

activity, always, back, dating, fun, fun activity, humor, let, letting, letting go, love, meant, relationship, snacks, someone
What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, dating, flirting, humor, moment, question, right, woman
As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

0

2 months ago

accuse, alive, dating, deception, ever, fun, give, humor, mystery, name, privacy, real, relationship, secrecy
I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, dating, four, Four Horsemen, hope, horsemen, humor, i, joke, sarcasm, single
Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

0

2 months ago

dating, easy, humor, i, joke, me, relationship, reply, super, text, texting, timing
I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

0

2 months ago

bad, bed, blocked, confidence, dating, humor, media, never, rejection, relationships, sarcasm, self-esteem, social, social media, told, unfriended
The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

0

2 months ago

activity, before, best, dating, freedom, fun, fun activity, independence, life, meet, pre-meet, relationship, single, single life
You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

0

2 months ago

dating, female, female friend, friend, friends, friendship, humor, know, life, love, love life, open, sarcasm, stupidity

For even more funny dating quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Discord this month:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

69 but we both just farting.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

25 shares on X this month:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

24 shares on X this month:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

68 shares on YouTube this month:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Making waves on Slack:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Just landed via Slack:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Going bananas on Slack:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Activity Log ✨

491 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨